Weight loss for overweight children

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kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

      quote  
Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 05:52
In my part time job coaching weight loss, I was approaced my a mom to an overweight girl.

The girl - much more than the mom - really wants to lose weight.

I am obviously interested in helping.

Now, I use a Danish calorie calculator to count calories, and this doesn't accept people under 18.

What do you guys thing? Would it work to sign up at 13 year old girl as an 18 year old and generally go with the numbers? She's a big girl, and definitely needs to shed quite a bit of weight.

I'm not as much interested in RDI in the system as I am interested in her seeing how many calories she consumes with her (unhealthy) food.

...and even more importantly, I need MOM to see. Smile

What are your general thoughts on this?

I would really love to help these people. The poor girl is being teased a lot in school, and having been the "fat kid" myself, I'd love to help her.

Any help and thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Smile

Keld.

Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
Rita41

Joined: Apr 13
Posts: 186

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Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 06:07
It is never too early to learn how to eat properly and to understand how calories work. My father passed away when I was 11 and when all the comfort food started piling my brothers and I all gained quite a bit of weight. Luckily we were having yearly check ups and our pediatrician alerted my Mom to a potential problem. We were signed up with a nutritionist who basically did the job of one of these websites having us record what we ate and determining how many calories we needed to consume to lose weight and then what we needed to eat to maintain our loss. My Mom was going through a lot a the time and being left with four kids (two 12 and two 11 years old) she focused on keeping us fed but the calories must have quickly added up. We became less active because we moved to the city from the country and we lived close to a corner store with all sorts of goodies. We checked in every week and by the time I finished grade 8 I was healthy again. I suggest you help her. She and her Mom need to take a close look at where all their calories are coming from and choose healthy alternatives that still fill you up but don't pack on the calories. As she loses weight she could be introduced to exercise to help maintain a healthy lifestyle. I feel for this young girl.
mummydee

Joined: Feb 10
Posts: 2,061

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Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 06:16
Yes, definitely, I wouldn't worry about the details of the counter, the important thing is for her to learn what she's putting into her body and her mom needs to be part of the process for sure. She's the one who will be shopping and in control of what goes into the fridge.
At 13 her body will be going through so many changes in the next few years and she needs to know she has control of something.
Good on you for doing this coaching for others. I hope they listen to your advice.
jsfantome

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 1,868

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Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 06:51
Keld, I'm not sure...but I have seen young people on this site. Is there any reason you couldn't use FS for the calorie counting? Or perhaps do some research to find a site geared for adolescents? I would be slightly concerned about some of the possible medical aspects you may not know anything about. She may not either! Giving the Mom the 'info' so she becomes the driver in this situation...would seem the best idea to me. Coach the MOM to help her daughter...can you do that? Just my opinion...
Live, Love, Laugh ...make each day memorable and enjoy the journey.

The bar noted below, does not tell the entire story!
Nadyno

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 21

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Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 07:31
You're right to focus on MOM but don't forget that the daughter probably already has an allowance and is in a position to buy snacks.

When I was younger my parents helped me by sending met to see dietitian. It did help, but as I got older I slowly got bigger again. I had learned about food a lot and about consuming less calories, but never really ‘got’ the part about burning them.

Don’t forget about exercise. Try to make exercising a part of regular life. They could start but just walking for half an hour after dinner. It’s not hard and a good time to have a moment together to talk. Cause and effect. Food is not the enemy, maintaining a good balance between what goes in and out is what’s important.

One of the most eye-opening experience I ever had was actually experiencing/feeling what I needed to do to burn the amounts of calories I had consumed. Not just talking in calories. Go for a walk and estimate/calculate the amount of calories you burned, at the end offer a snack that is about equal of what you just burned. For me it kinda ‘flipped’a switch in my head and I started to ‘get’ it.

It helped me most to stop drinking soda etc. A glass of cola just didn’t seem worth the extra calories anymore...
-I’m not 'losing' weight, I'm getting rid of it. I have no intention of finding it again.-
-It's not about how you look, it's about what you see.-
Lizzygracemu...

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 115

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Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 08:10
Oh Keld, good post, I have strong opinions on that since you described ME! I was put on a DIET in 7th grad, and teased, and omg it was bad. There are so many ways you could do it with her. Here are some suggestions. NO on the way WE do it with calorie counting RDI at first! Educate her to healthy foods, maybe just find out exactly what she is eating, the who, what where when and why! When I was her, I was pouring sugar on everything, getting things at the 7-11 on my way to school, eating to fulfill something. It was way more than food. I think working out will give her confidence. Some kids, the teasing just rolls off them, some it sticks for ever. How to change the sticky tape into rubber. Build confidence, she will lose the weight. OK, back to calories. After you know what she is eating, basic nutrition, and the eat this not that approach. I think showing her the numbers and how it affects her body will be very good since it lay out the reasons she gains, or not. It will give her life long tools to make food choices that are good for her. I would just be careful of having her go on a calorie diet which leads to depravation/starvation stuff and control issues LOL. gee, know I know where I got that from LOL. OK, hope that helps. I hope the mom can start doing activity with the daughter, that would be fun.
Mikaracat

Joined: Mar 12
Posts: 64

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Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 08:45
Lizzygracemusic wrote:
Oh Keld, good post, I have strong opinions on that since you described ME! I was put on a DIET in 7th grad, and teased, and omg it was bad.


I know what you mean. I was on a constant diet after I turned 10. My Mom was a little obsessed with the idea that the only food I could have where "Low Fat". Even on special occasions, she would make a big deal over making sure I had 'low fat' ice cream... in front of kids I knew.

I don't blame anyone but myself, but when you're constantly told 'No, your brothers and sisters can have that, but you can't because you're on a diet! I don't want you getting fatter!' it kills your self-confidence and (for us emotional eaters out there!) it can lead to secretly binging.

The biggest part of my weight-gain was when I was 14 (aka the year from heck) but looking back I realize that part of what happened was the pattern I was in.

So yes, help her understand nutrition and calories, but more importantly, let her know that this is HER choice.

Knowing that no one is forcing you to take better care of yourself but YOU? It can have an amazing effect.
"I'm through accepting limits cause someone says they're so, Some things I cannot change, But till I try, I'll never know!" - DEFYING GRAVITY
twinklebun

Joined: Apr 13
Posts: 41

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Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 10:21
I was an overweight child as well and I tried many times to lose weight but wasn't successful or gave up. This was because I had such a negative outlook about myself and my appearance, due to all the teasing. Instead of eating healthy because it was good for me or because I should take care of myself, it was always the thought that I was eating it "because I'm fat." I think it's important to instill a more positive outlook in children. Being healthy isn't about others or what they think about you, it's about taking care of yourself. I wish that was something I knew.
polly56

Joined: Apr 13
Posts: 16

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Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 16:27
Hi
I'm thinking that although it's good to know the calories in food its also important to understand the value of food especially for young people who are inherently more vulnerable. Looking at what makes up a healthy plate and checking nutrition labels - advise sticking to foods that have less than 5g fat and sugar per 100g is a simple strategy and easy to monitor and control. Encouraging fun family activities so relationships are strengthened is also helpful as there is usually an underlying emotional issue contributing to the weight issues within a family. Exercise will also release the happy hormones, which is always good Smile
Polly Smile
jsfantome

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 1,868

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Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 21:59
Hey keld, had this on my mind a lot today...and had a few more thoughts about it. This young girl - needs someone who can get to know her. Someone who will build a relationship with her. (like you would and have, with your own daughter.) Someone - who along w/ her Mom - can make a long-term commitment. She will have her successes...and some setbacks. And I think she needs to be surrounded by people who care about HER (even when maybe she doesn't.) Kids are funny creatures. She might act like she wants this now...but she doesn't really know at what cost. Obviously it would be best if the 'family' was modeling Healthy Eating, and Exercise...as lifestyle choices..that they all are changing to. That way they could support each other. Just a few things to think about.
Live, Love, Laugh ...make each day memorable and enjoy the journey.

The bar noted below, does not tell the entire story!
sarahduke

Joined: Apr 11
Posts: 73

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Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 22:22
I was always fat- and didnt care. It didnt bother me, i was fun- and I had ALWAYS been the fat kid, the big girl, the fat friend. Loosing weight and going on a diet seemed like torture and an un attainable goal, a huge mountian i had no interest in climbing. I married a fat guy and we lived and ate quite happily together for years. I dont know what anyone could have done to change my patterns but i sure wish someone tried. I remember going to a dietition once with my mother, and honestly just felt attacked and really humiliated. That didnt help me at all. I know I needed to fix alot of emotional issues before working on the weight was even something I even let in my radar. I dont know how your best aproach should be- but i think its important to try to find it - and when you do share it with me?
“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” ~ Woody Allen
ferlengheti

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 200

      quote  
Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 23:07
I was put on Weight Watchers when I was under 18 and honestly, it had the opposite effect to the desired one. There's sure to be a more complete matrix online somewhere where the RDI for a girl of X age, X height, and X weight can be found. Don't just apply the 18 yr old one and hope. Plus, at 13, that's a superfragile age, and getting her too much into calorie-counting is a worry... If there can be more emphasis on finding fun, interesting activities that she can try, it'll have a more positive effect than number-crunching constantly. She's a kid; she should be joyful and secure, and not a calorie accountant.
I've never met a cheese I didn't like.
ferlengheti

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 200

      quote  
Posted: 24 Jun 2013, 23:12
I found the following three pages on a quick Google, and it looks like kids of that age have VERY specific needs re: nutrients because of the very rapid rate of physical and neurological growth and to set down building blocks for future adult health. http:// lpi.oregonstate .edu/ infocenter/ lifestages/ children/ and http:// www.healtheries .co.nz/ health-blog/ comments/ _thread_/ rdi-tables-for- children-9-13-years and http:// www.epi.umn.edu/ let/ pubs/ img/ adol_ch3.pdf
I've never met a cheese I didn't like.
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

      quote  
Posted: 25 Jun 2013, 01:06
I appreciate all the input, guys.

I will go through links and everything else throughout the day. I am pretty certain of a few things in my approach to this:

1. I don't want the girl to count calories. If anyone counts calories, it's MOM, to give MOM a guideline.
2. Definitely focus on correct nutrition.
3. Work with DAUGHTER's drive. She is really the one most motivated, which helps me a bunch. She WANTS to lose weight, and is the one pushing. Smile

I have talked to Mom already about seeing a physician, making sure that we're not doing anything dangerous, and have talked to her about having a children's psychologist on the side, to clear out any skeletons in the closet.

What I will mostly focus on is to make sure MOM isn't feeding her too many bad things, and to motivate DAUGHTER to move around more. DAUGHTER just signed up for the kids' section of my gym, and is really having fun with it. I think this is a great first step. Smile

Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
Supersized19...

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 2

      quote  
Posted: 25 Jun 2013, 05:47
Exercise more... dont worry so much about counting calories at this age, just cut back on portions... no more going back for seconds... and get active... go for a walk daily... ride bikes... something mom and daughter can do together!
Supersized19...

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 2

      quote  
Posted: 25 Jun 2013, 05:49
Make it fun so she won't feel like she is being punished. Also Mom and other family members need to participate in the healthy change too... get the whole family involved!
mars2kids

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 1,237

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Posted: 25 Jun 2013, 11:32
My BIL is a trainer and does kids training classes a lot with groups of kids. They train for 5K's, do aerobics, swim, just all sorts of things to get the kids active and they focus more on the activity than calorie counting. He does teach them that healthy eating will help with their activity and keep their bodies happy too, but keeps it simple so they aren't overwhelmed with information.

It sounds like you are on the right track with your plan for her. If Mom is counting her own calories and eating healthier, hopefully that will mean that she is making healthier meals for daughter too and with that will come some weight loss and other health benefits. Good luck!!
Goals for 2014:
Complete Couch to 5K- DONE!!!
Sign up for and complete a 5K- DONE!! 35 mins.
Plan at least 3 outings with the family that involve being active- 2 done
FullaBella

Joined: Oct 12
Posts: 1,026

      quote  
Posted: 25 Jun 2013, 14:16
Keld, you know, this topic hit close to home for me as 13 was my first 'big diet' although I'd already survived several years of having my weight issue pointed out to me by family members and school mates.

The thing is - I'm not sure what could have or should have been said to me that would have put me on the 'right' path then instead of setting off 40 years of disordered eating.

It's hard not to reflect on my own failed experiences so I don't know that counting calories is the solution for even the Mom - as that's what MY mom AND grandmother both did and they certainly influenced me the wrong way (as in encouraged starvation for a quick fix).

Nutrition - definitely a focus. Help them both understand how eating fresh (ring of perishables) is much healthier than fast food or junk food. Help them both think about what's good for them, good for their health in the long run.

I'd discourage labeling any food as 'bad' as we humans seem to crave the bad things; something about being a rebel (or is that just ME? LOL)
I think it would take a lobotomy for me to erase the image of my grandmother lecturing me and ticking off 'no-no' items with her fingertips (no breads, no sweets, no potatoes) to the point that even to this day as I've made peace with all foods in moderation breads, sweets and potatoes still bring me anxiety.

And, I'm sure you've definitely considered it and maybe it's been mentioned in some previous responses, but I would definitely ask her the 'why' she wants to lose weight and HOPE somewhere in there she goes through her list beyond 'because of peer pressure' and FINDS the HEALTH button to push. If it's all about being cool & fitting in she has far more to get past right now than pounds - this is SUCH a tough age group.

Good luck to you - and her - and her mom.

Bella


I'm not losing WEIGHT. I'm converting FAT to MUSCLE to be healthier.
yankgal46

Joined: Feb 13
Posts: 183

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Posted: 25 Jun 2013, 14:51
I agree FullaBella!
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

      quote  
Posted: 25 Jun 2013, 22:31
Well said, Bella.

In this case it's definitely not just group pressure. She is a chubby girl, and she can use some weight off. She's not morbidly obese, but big enough that I can see kids tormenting her.

I am definitely NOT gonna give her "no-no's". I will much more encourage her to SEE what is good for her, and what is not as good. (not BAD). I will try to make both of them see why we benefit from the better food choices.

Then I'll try to make myself remember exactly this before I go to the Chinese restaurant next time. Smile

Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.



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