Binge Eating Monster

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meganbarkley

Joined: Feb 13
Posts: 11

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Posted: 11 Apr 2013, 10:20
You wanna know why I love Chipotle burritos? Besides the divine taste or the supple puppy-like weight in my palm. I simply crave that gorged, thanksgiving-plump feeling in my belly.

I am 3 months into my lifestyle journey: no processed or fast foods, no salt, no refined sugars. Just a diet as fresh and organic as I can get. But let me go all cliche on you for a sec. Here's the definition of diet for you:

DI·ET 1 [DAHY-IT]
food or feed habitually eaten or provided:
The rabbits were fed a diet of carrots and lettuce.

That's it. It's not a bad word. It's not that horrible noun that I so often dreaded. For which, I completely blame Garfield.

Since I've changed my diet, I have been happier and healthier. But through this journey, I realized something.

I'm a food addict.

Like I said before, it's not (all) my fault. But I do have an addiction to food. I love loved Dr. Pepper like nobody's business. Those chocolate icing-covered mini donuts? ...Nutella sandwiches...Sour Cream and Cheddar potato chips... Oh dear God.

That's the problem!
I was eating all the wrong foods, at the wrong time, from the wrong supplier. I was starving myself. I was overfed and under-nourished. And I would follow up every single trying effort with a guilt-ridden gorge.

Because it's an addiction. (say it with me)

And if people don't want to agree with you, then f##k them. They obviously don't understand.

They don't understand that every time you hear a Wendy's commercial your mouth salivates. Or if you smell a chicken nugget your brain tells your stomach to do cartwheels in your gut until you get one. Or if your old lady neighbor, for f##k's sake, bakes a cake and puts it in the window to cool you won't creep like a stalker.

Every time I turn around I see a billboard. Or hear a radio ad...or watch a commercial. Man, just walking through Wal-Mart the other day and passing all the delicious Easter candy on clearance was enough to make me pull my hair out! They purposefully put those rotisserie chickens near the doors, right?

After three months of this change, all I want to do is binge eat. If I'm not careful, I'll eat an entire container of hummus. Or all 4 servings in that organic ice cream. Even though I changed what I eat, I still binge. Agreeably not nearly as often, but I still do. I still want to.

So, what can you do to not binge eat?
(Fine Print: This is what I do personally. I am in no way an addiction specialist, nutritionist or doctor. But I can tell you these tips are really working for me. I hope you find what works for you.)

1. Have a health splurge meal once every two weeks.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't give up Chipotle. On a bi-weekly basis I get myself a good ol' burrito. Soooooooo good. I love that they get their vegetables locally and organically when available. They are the only "fast food" that serves Food with Integrity. And that makes me feel a little less guilty.

2. Pre-portion your serving sizes.
My hubs is a master at this. He portions out our nuts, carrots, broccoli and lunches. We used to just portion what we needed for 5 days of lunches. Not anymore. We do it all at once. It takes a while (we do ours on Sunday), but you'll be more tempted to binge eat when you have some left in the package.

3. Drink a s##t ton of water.
I wake up. Do my morning exercise (usually 20 minutes of yoga or pilates) then I drink 2-3 glasses of room temperature water. Then, when I take my vitamins, I drink another full glass. I drink water before I put anything else in my system. Throughout the day I'll drink 3-4 bottles of water. Then before I eat dinner, I'll drink a BIG glass of water before I eat. This has made THE BIGGEST change in my binge eating.

4. Stop patronizing traditional media.
Watch Netflix instead of cable! There's no commercials so you won't be tempted by the crap they promote. (Plus it's ridiculously cheaper than cable.) Stop listening to the radio in your car. Get an auxiliary cable and listen to Pandora through your phone on your car stereo. Take the back road to work so you won't have to see billboards. Instead you'll see the f##king sunrise, birds singing and s##t. It's awesome.

5. Remind yourself why you're doing this. Constantly.
I literally made myself an inspiration board. Pinterest is awesome and all, but I need something that I'm going to stare at every day.

This sucker is sitting right on my make-up desk. I look at it every morning when I apply my make-up. I look at myself in my mirror and say, "I am a divine expression of life. I love and accept myself right now." Then I look back at my board. I focus on my goals so I can subconsciously make them happen.

I also have notes every where: on my desk, my fringe, the pin board in my work out room. I've even set alarms on my phone that simply say "Love yourself".

By constantly reminding myself why I'm doing this, I know that I CAN DO THIS!

And you know something else?
I don't think about how I want a sweet bod by the time I go to Miami this summer. I don't think about the three servings of chia pudding I slurpped down last night. Or the fact that I didn't work out last Saturday.

I think about today.
That's it.
Cause that's all we have.
Right now.
This moment.

I love you all, and I believe that as a society we can honestly change what we've done to our bodies, and also our world. I am constantly learning, so please let me know what you've been doing to succeed. Or link me up with any articles you like, documentaries you've watched. Knowledge is power.
JDiesel24

Joined: Apr 13
Posts: 5

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Posted: 11 Apr 2013, 10:49
I love this....more than anything I've read...ever. I too am a binge eater and it has controlled my life forever. You're right, most people believe there is no such thing as an addictiont o food but they are wrong! Thank you so so much for posting this, stay beautiful.
"Before God we are all equally wise and equally foolish" - Albert Einstein
meganbarkley

Joined: Feb 13
Posts: 11

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Posted: 11 Apr 2013, 10:51
Thank you so much for the love. Means a lot to me. Good luck on your journey Smile
JDiesel24

Joined: Apr 13
Posts: 5

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Posted: 11 Apr 2013, 10:51
You are most welcome! Thank you! Smile
"Before God we are all equally wise and equally foolish" - Albert Einstein
kkd1125

Joined: Apr 10
Posts: 315

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Posted: 11 Apr 2013, 13:02
Megan, this is amazing! I love your perspective and positive outlook on your journey. And I especially relate to your love of Chipotle. I have one right across the street from work and I try to go about once every two weeks. I find it very easy to eat healthy and track my calories when I eat there...and feel very fulfilled when I do. I always save calories for their killer guacamole, so much that I always add it to my salad and skip than their yummy vinaigrette dressing, then I just squeeze lemons from the beverage bar for dressing.

I always thought of myself as a "Foodie," but I have come to realize that I am probably more of a food addict. I'm slowly working on redefining my relationship with food and fitness and working on GAINING health, not focusing on LOSING anything. I can still love cooking, trying new ingredients amd watching cooking shows, but I need to internalize that there's nothing "Foodie" about driving through a fast food place for greasy, ridiculously high calorie food or eating 3 times the usual serving of Domino's pizza.

It's not easy, but the better I feel from making healthy choices, the happier I am and I want to continue making healthy choices (notice I didn't say RIGHT choices, just HEALTHY).
yesvic

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 33

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Posted: 11 Apr 2013, 15:47
I absolutely LOVE this post. It’s like my subconscious is talking.

I am quite a perfectionist and if I wasn’t “perfect “with the diet or exercise I would quit. Now I’m only concentrating on today and if a crave something I find healthier substitute or just have 1 serving.
Champers9

Joined: Feb 13
Posts: 66

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Posted: 11 Apr 2013, 16:05
Another vote of love for this post! Go Girl!!!!!

How I deal with cravings:-

1) Ok if its still here tomorrow I will believe my body
2) Next day......... usually craving something else so same applies. If still craving the same thing, wait another day and start planning how Im going to get it within my calories etc
3) Very unusual to be still craving the same thing by day 3, and then I have it! Usually involving walking a few miles to get it and then back again to work it off.

My experience has been that it is rare for the same thing to be bugging me for three days, so I learned to ignore it.... because its not a NEED, its a want.

As time goes on, the cravings reduce or can easily be substituted with something healthier.

I have found my main crave will be bread..... I LOVE bread. So if Im still craving it after 3 days, I buy the smallest amount (a couple of mini baguettes for instance) and something low cal to go on it. Compromise and get rid of the craving. I can cope with that once a month lol
BBD5

Joined: Oct 12
Posts: 382

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Posted: 11 Apr 2013, 16:15
Ok.. So I don't know how I came about this journal.. BUT I LOVE IT!!! Megan were you reading this journey since 10/12 and before then I was an emotional eater, binge eater, eat because the food is there, all that!!! I need to post your note and read it daily! INSPIRATION, UNDERSTANDING, I can't think of any more words now, just had a brain fart!!

I want to say thank you for the 'WORDS' and onward forward with this journey!!

To you Megan and the other ladies that have responded to this post! We are not alone - different states, different cities, but we are on this journey together!! So happy I came across this post.. Very Happy
Ruhu

Joined: Sep 12
Posts: 517

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Posted: 11 Apr 2013, 17:32
Have to add my praise, admiration & thank you for this great post! I, too, am right with you as a sugar addict who is finally finding her way on her own personal journey -- a journey that started to lose weight but has become so much more as a healthy eating & living adventure.

My journey took me through a series of what I've been calling experiments -- an elimination diet which exposed intolerances for gluten & lactose, and an addiction to sugar. After eliminating them all for the past 3 months (& as you wisely point out), eventually my sugar cravings got the best of me resulting in a sugar binge. So, I now allow myself a sugar treat (one portion) every 2-3 weeks which I plan for, look forward to, eat mindfully and make the "guest of honor" at my meal.

I'm a big believer, too, to take it one day at a time or in my case, sometimes, one meal or one moment or one bite or one emotion. I'm currently reading about emotional eating & looking at how that factors into my cravings. I'm a work in process, also eager to hear & share healthy eating and living stories. (If anyone wants to stay in touch, please buddy request me as I'd love to.) Thanks again for your post!
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
meganbarkley

Joined: Feb 13
Posts: 11

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Posted: 12 Apr 2013, 11:00
There's so much love here I can barely stand it! Thank every single one of you. I'm glad we are taking this journey together!
JaneTexas

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 2

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Posted: 12 Apr 2013, 12:29
Oh Megan... You nailed it.
SELouisiana

Joined: Feb 13
Posts: 34

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Posted: 12 Apr 2013, 14:11
Oh my gosh! This is such an amazing post, Megan. One of your tips is Netflix! Hand to God that is the reason I watch much more of it today than my Directv. Netflix is a MAJOR reason I've been able to stay focused. The food commercials on regular TV were literally diabolical during my first few months of my journey. They had to go. Now, its just a lifestyle change but a very helpful one until i lose the rest of the weight! Great read!
"Wear LOVE everywhere you go." Colossians 3:14
julieanne71

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 6

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Posted: 14 Apr 2013, 15:54
This is one of the best posts I've read in a looooong time. I don't know how to classify myself when it comes to food - and I don't spend much time thinking about it - I am trying like %^&* to stay focused this time around. My husband talked me out of starting the diet pills for 30 days (THE FREAKING THINGS ARE SITTING ON MY COUNTER) to see what I can accomplish naturally. So far, 5 days in, I am quite proud of myself and SHOCKED AS $%#^ about the amount of carbs and crap in the stuff I eat. I feel kind of foolish actually. How many times have I been on this eat right/exercise roller coaster? 1000's. And hey look I'm back again! Sigh.

But I guess the point is that I AM BACK again and not giving up and pretending that I love myself for who I am and how I look now (what a buncha crap). I don't love myself at all. I mildly dislike myself. And with will power and support I think I can get to the point where I do like myself.

The coolest thing of all is, frankly, these message boards. I am a complete loner when it comes to everything. You guys are so cool - I'm glad you are all so honest and forthcoming and boy it makes me feel like I can be honest and forthcoming too.

Sorry - this is Megan's post and not supposed to be all about me. No hijacking intended.

J
notjune1

Joined: Sep 13
Posts: 62

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Posted: 17 Sep 2013, 12:49
Another vote for this post too...I just found it.
For me, it's the lure of Kettle cooked chips. Those things are like crack.....Smile
meganbarkley

Joined: Feb 13
Posts: 11

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Posted: 23 Oct 2013, 10:30
I'm glad you liked this post. I hope it was helpful for you, notjune1.
notjune1

Joined: Sep 13
Posts: 62

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Posted: 23 Oct 2013, 10:36
Megan, for the past few days, i have been looking at pictures of donuts...dreaming about donuts. (see my journal entry yesterday lol)

You are not alone.
JustADreamer

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 62

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Posted: 24 Oct 2013, 09:23
I love this. I am a nutrition student, and I am actually working on a paper for a conference. That paper is about... you guessed it... FOOD ADDICTION. So many people don't believe in food addiction, and to those people, I say, "You could never understand unless you have lived it." I have experienced all of the things that you spoke about, and I love your tips! The more I learn about food addiction, the more I understand that it is the biggest obstacle for people to overcome when they attempt to lose weight.
L3@H
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