Losing weight is one of the hardest things I've ever done

My fat secret friends I am 41 and every year I've told myself that I'm going to get into the best shape of my life in order to maintain myself as I age. Well, I've changed my eating habits, I'm exercising and I'm finding that this is the HARDEST thing I've ever done. Three months and I've lost 9 lbs. I don't know if it is more difficult because of how old I am or what.

Question: To those of you who have made it to the other side, set a goal and are close to reaching it or those who have reached it and are maintaining it or those who feel the same way I feel now. How did you do it? How long did it take? Did you ever feel this way? Sometimes it's like I'm a hamster on a wheel? What did you do to motivate yourself when all seemed is in vain?

I agree with you, well...partially. For me, losing the weight was hard. It was hard to stay dedicated to my exercise program and to deny myself the bingeing I had become accustomed to (because I don't restrict myself from eating anything as long as it fits in my day). What's really, hard, though, is maintaining the weight loss. Losing is much easier, because you have a little reward every day (or so) to look forward to. In maintenance, it's mostly just NOT looking for a failure. Without other goals to aim for in this phase, I have found myself gaining and losing over and over. And this, I know, is more dangerous than being fat.

My best advice to you (and to me!!) is this: discover why you want to lose the weight. Be honest with yourself. Do you REALLY want to be healthier? Or is that you REALLY want to look smokin' hot for a class reunion? If it's the latter, or something like it, a transient goal will not sustain you. Find one that, like your losses, can be permanent. If it's the former, an immeasurable or non-quantifiable goal will also not sustain you. Find one that, like your losses, will be obvious.

For me, these goals change all the time. I set fitness goals, for example. Last year I ran in the Pittsburgh Marathon, for instance. Six months later, I ran the Warrior Dash (a different kind of running altogether, which forced me to change my workout routine.) My next goal is to finish a sprint triathlon (another training change.) Later, I'd like to do the Tough Mudder (yet another training change.) These are short-term goals, are measurable, and force me to keep exercising. So though the mini-goals are transient, they keep me focused on permanent goal: fitness, not skinniness.

Good luck!

Hi Biz... I had my awakening at 60, so you're way ahead of the game. I hit a plateau around Thanksgiving but kept plugging away and began losing again in January. Each lb. loss is an incentive to keep going. I set 5lb goals. But hit a biggie today. 200lbs. and haven't seen that number in 15 years.

Change your diet and maybe your exercise program. Be patient and be kind to yourself.

Good Luck

Want to add a PS

I started in October, 2011 and I was 246. So, it's taken me 16 months to lose my weight. Even had a total knee replacement that put me out of commission for 4 months, but discovered the recumbent bike which I used for rehab has become my best friend for cardio exercise.

lost 42 lbs in 6 months, went from 37 + waist to 30, maintained for 3 months, Bf at 10% , im 48.5 years and nearly the weight i was at 19 only with more muscle, i am to get super ripped for summer but am pretty happy where im at.

hard work and consistency is key use the app

Hang in there, Bizzybee, and take it one day at a time. At 52, I found myself starting to gain weight after years of being around the same number on the scale. Even though I'd binge on sugar, I was able to counter it by eating less until I was back at the number I wanted. I've found this web site extremely helpful, everyone to be very supportive & try to get online daily to journal, log my food, & share with friends, in groups & forums. I actually like to exercise & am a big advocate for it, but think its important to find a type of exercise or sport that you like as it makes it easy to keep doing it. For me, its taking exercise classes (I especially like spinning, zumba, tabata, etc.), playing tennis, x-country skiing & snowshoeing. Good luck to you & feel free to send me a buddy request if you're interested in staying in touch.

I'm the leanest I've ever been by a long shot. I lost the weight through a combination of learning to accept that...

Reaching my goal weight is more important than anything that can interfere with that happening.
Typical American eating habits like snacking will never get me to that weight, let alone maintain it longterm.
I need to learn to recognize my hunger, eat when hungry, and stop when no longer hungry.
I need to eat the foods that satisfy my hunger.
I need to eat the food I need during regular meals.
Learn to take portions that are moderate in size and be satisfied with them.

My original goal was based on the weight I used to be when I was skinny-fat and calculators I found online. I will probably have to adjust my goal. It's hard to imagine I can lose that much fat still, with all the muscle I have gained.

I can't thank all of you enough. Knowing that 41 is no big thing when it comes to losing weight. Once again my FS friends have given me the ammunition I need to continue to try to reach my goals. Thank you all so much!!

I started my weight loss journey at 41, and I dropped 170 lbs. Sure, some came back on, but they're heading out as we speak.

To me, it's all about finding the drive. Find a way that you can do this EVERY DAY without it getting too tedious. Be okay with a slower progress if that is what it takes for you to be consistent.

It's taken me 5 years to get where I am - slow and steady all the way....you have to remember you didn't just wake up fat, so like wise you are not going to wake up one morning slim - it takes time....so commit to the long term and enjoy your life along the way

amen sister!!! I very certainly did NOT wake up fat....it took me 15 years to get this fat, having 5 babies and just LIFE happening so fast....But honestly, I really do WISH I could just wake up thin again! haha.
Keep on keepin on....

I keep waiting to see a drop in pounds. 2 lbs is the most I've ever lost in a week and within the three months that has only happened twice.

I used to struggle a lot, but I feel like I've finally figured out how to make it work for me and my lifestyle. I've lost just over 100lbs in just under 2 years.

I set myself very specific goals, and only one of those was a weight goal. The goals that I focused on the most were things that I wanted to be able to do. For example, I wanted to go on a specific hike. It was my dream. I did it last year. This year I'm planning to fulfill another dream and climb a mountain. The improved physical fitness has been the biggest driver for me.

I also refused to diet. Instead I focused on changing my lifestyle and eating in a way that I enjoyed so much that I would want to keep it up for the rest of my life. I continue to healthy eating and enjoy experimenting. It never seems like a chore.

Finally, I didn't set a time limit. Sometimes I've lost weight quickly, sometimes I haven't lost anything for a whole month and I've survived numerous plateaus. Losing 9 lbs over 3 months might seem like nothing, but you've lost 9lbs!!! It doesn't matter if it took 1 month or 3. You still lost it. Just keep going, no matter how long it takes, and you will reach your goal.

If you're interested, I've got a few journal entries which talk about exactly how I stayed motivated and the changes I made.

Best of luck xxx

Hey biz,
It took me 2 years to accomplish my initial weight loss, but I've maintained it (more or less) for the past 3 years. I'm 52 now, and as I get older, it does seem like it takes less food, more exercise, and more time for the pounds to come off. I think 9 pounds in 3 months is good progress. Anyone will tell you that slow weight loss is more permanent. Best of luck to you!