I am both wheat and lactose intolerant. After staying away from all dairy for more than 2 decades I found out that my condition improved and I only need to avoid milk now, but am OK with smaller amount of lactose in fermented dairy products and cheese. Wheat is becoming a bigger problem though.
Like most people I first tried to find substitutes for my favorite foods, but soon realized that "fakes" don't taste same, and usually contain questionable ingredients. I still use Silk soy milk every now and then, but try not to make it a staple in my diet. Tried to experiment with other brands as well as different brands of commercial nut and rice milks. Too many chemicals added, and do not like the taste, they also taste too watery for me. Same with most gluten free immitation of real bread or baked goods. Though found some good staff like lentil crackers, that I eat occasionally.
I decided I would rather learn new recipes and cook dishes that do not require adding dairy and flour than try to adjust old ones. Works rather well, there is plenty of tasty dishes that are both dairy and wheat free, especially if you are willing to go outside the box and look into other countries cousine. Eating out is more of a challenge. I do not always want to advertise my intolerances, and had a few unpleasant moments when everybody wanted to share pizza and I had to order something else for myself and explain why. Also some food in the restaurants can contain wheat or milk even though it does not seem to belong there. You can always ask the waiter (if he cares to give you correct information), but again it depends on who you are dining with. It is not a very appropriate topic for a business lunch.
Good luck, you need to find what works for you, but you can still eat well and enjoy your food too.
The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor. ~ Author Unknown
It doesn’t matter what diet you follow… What matters is what makes you follow your diet. ~ Tom Venuto