I do believe that 'you never fail until you stop trying'. I can't tell you how many times I lost weight, only to gain it back and have to start again...and while those moments feel truly horrible, you've done it before, which means that you know
you can do it again.
You know, I haven't been reading the forum posts all that long, and I already recognise your name, because you spend the time and effort to nurture other people...time to give some of that to yourself
. With the depression, the thing that helps me the most is to remember 'baby steps'...silly little example but if today all you can do is get up and wash a dish, that's all you can...tomorrow you get up and wash two, and so on. And often without even realising it you've picked up pace and before you know it the house looks amazing. One day, one little step at a time.