Cleaning up friend's list

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mamajava

Joined: Jul 12
Posts: 60

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Posted: 27 Jul 2012, 11:48
I've realized that this site is so poorly set up (access to forums, groups, etc. take too many steps to get where you want to go), that I end up neglecting journals and posts by my friends quite often. It suck that you would delete people based on lack of comments or support. I know so often I read journals, but don't have time to actually type out replies. It doesn't mean people aren't paying attention, but really? This site is great...but rarely do I ever see people posting at all in groups or forums, even. In fact there are many groups that I joined that nobody even makes a remark in. I've asked questions in many forums with zero replies, but there are over 800 members listed in that forum. LOL Weird, if you ask me. I think most people use the awesome food tracking here, and not much else. That's my take on the whole thing, anyway. Again, sorry you don't feel supported.
2007 highest weight: 298
Started FatSecret 7/9/12: 278
8/13/12: 264
Jazzy Jay

Joined: Jul 12
Posts: 4

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Posted: 27 Jul 2012, 12:03
Hi ladies... I just wanted to comment since Im new to the site and really looking to make some friends on here. I have plenty of enthusiasm to go around and will gladly support anyone with their journey or struggles! Friend me if you wish and I will do my best to help out! Very Happy
mars2kids

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 1,267

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Posted: 27 Jul 2012, 12:27
Trill42 I'm not on your friends list either, but saw the post. I try to comment on as many buddy's journals as I can every day. I'm here through the week, but usually take a break on weekends because they tend to get busy. I'm sorry that no one has interacted with you, but have you interacted and given support to others? If not, then you can't just expect it to go the other way, but I understand your frustration. I found the best way to get people to interact is to put yourself out there, like you did with this post. Let people know your frustrations and they'll give you support. There are so many people on this site that I think that sometimes people give up on looking at journals or journaling themselves because they can't keep up. I like to journal here to get things off my chest, but don't expect too much in the way of responses, but I love to give support to others, it makes me feel good. I'm always open to new buddies and like I said I like to comment as much as I can on journals, so if you want a new buddy feel free to add me. I'll try not to let you down. Smile
Goals for 2014:
Complete Couch to 5K- DONE!!!
Sign up for and complete a 5K- DONE!! 35 mins.
Plan at least 3 outings with the family that involve being active- 2 done
Eringiffin

Joined: Mar 12
Posts: 117

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Posted: 27 Jul 2012, 16:12
I am not one of your buddies (yet!) but I know how important it has been for me to have that encouragement and accountability, and sometimes tough love as well, from FS buddies. It really helps me to stick with this weight loss journey.

At first I didn't even know that there was a social networking aspect to this site. I was just entering my food and exercise. Then, when I decided to use the journal and noticed people could respond to them, I started to get into the swing of things.

I am on this site almost every day and I don't *always* respond to people's posts and journals but I try to get in at least a few a day. I just comment when I think I have something worth saying, hehe.

Even though I don't post a lot in group forums, I can see everyone's activity from that group on my fat secret page. That keeps me in touch with people who have similar goals.

Anyways, I would love to be one of your new buddies for a fresh start at connecting with people here on this site. I wonder how many other people have had the same experience. It's really a shame.
jsfantome

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 1,868

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Posted: 27 Jul 2012, 16:16
Hey Girl - So glad to see you back on! And 'no defense' required! Just wanted to say, I hope whatever new buddies you do get connected with, that you will continue to look for those that have been on regularly, and offer to try to buddy with some regulars as well.

It's hard, some people lose interest and leave for awhile... or they just weigh in but don't journal... it's just hard to always know where people are at in their individual journey.

I am truly sorry this has happened to you.. and particularly if I have ever missed one or more of your entries and not had the time or opportunity to connect.

Sometimes I don't see certain people's entries (even when I am looking at 'just buddies' stuff) and I have to really go dig and figure out when the last time they were on... if they're back from a vacation...

or how their wedding or surgery went...

heck, half the time I find it hard to remember people's names! Wink

Anyway... I am here for you if you need support... as I am sure others will be also. ONWARD, my friend... no time for the negative!

Much Love.
Live, Love, Laugh ...make each day memorable and enjoy the journey.

The bar noted below, does not tell the entire story!
triaby

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 321

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Posted: 27 Jul 2012, 16:36
It's like real life....there is no such thing as having 100s of "close" friends - if you can count all your genuine friends on one hand you are doing well - I would appreciate the one you have and the rest can just come along for the ride Smile
Tracy

I actually have a body like Cindy Crawford, I just keep it well covered to protect it!

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

♥ I am the captain of my soul ♥


Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live.
Hoser

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 2,052

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Posted: 27 Jul 2012, 16:39
Different people use the site in different ways.

For me, the most interesting parts of the site are the forums and the food diary, followed by the cookbook. I rarely use my journal, and even more rarely read other people's journals.

You wrote:

Quote:
This is a site for SUPPORT and making friends.


That may be true for you, but other people can see it differently. Understand that not everyone is looking for the same things that you are. I personally would not be motivated by rah-rah enthusiastic support from buddies-- I'd just find it puzzling and uncomfortable. I'm also not really one to give that sort of thing, because it just doesn't occur to me to do so.

I'm not sure why I'm responding. Wait, that's not true. When I read your initial message, I got the feeling that you felt neglected and disappointed because other people weren't meeting their obligations. What's probably happening, though, is that other people have a different relationship to the site (and people on it) than you do. If you understand that, maybe you'll feel less unhappy about what other people are doing, and/or it'll help you find more of the type of buddies that you're looking for.

sillybones10

Joined: Mar 12
Posts: 25

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Posted: 27 Jul 2012, 17:54
I kinda agree with Hoser. Everyone has different uses for this site. I initially just wanted to track what I ate but stopped using it when life got hectic. I didn't care about support because I knew I can achieve my goals without other people's encouragement. Now, I try to encourage others through their postings and such if I can. Everyone is different. I do log on daily now if u still need more buddies for encouragement! U can add me!Very Happy
Hoser

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 2,052

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Posted: 27 Jul 2012, 19:30
Thank you! You say the nicest things.
trill42

Joined: Jan 11
Posts: 131

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Posted: 27 Jul 2012, 19:50
LOL, wish there was a "like" button Very Happy
paperiniko

Joined: Jul 11
Posts: 343

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Posted: 28 Jul 2012, 02:43
this is a public forum so if you post something it is only to be expected that the post can be commented and if you do not wish to have arguments over the internet there is a very easy solution to that, just avoid posting on a public forum and eventually communicate via direct messages with the people you feel should know or can be bothered by your decision to "unfriend" them...as for honesty sometimes it can be exchanged with plain rudeness, but that's only my opinion.
laylaindy

Joined: Jul 12
Posts: 9

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Posted: 28 Jul 2012, 03:06
trill42 wrote:
err wait a minute, you're not on my friend's list lol.. Why are you bothered?

You really made my day Smile Why do you think someone would bother for being deleted? No one cares actually.
laylaindy

Joined: Jul 12
Posts: 9

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Posted: 28 Jul 2012, 03:08
Hoser wrote:
Thank you! You say the nicest things.

She's very funny, she made my day Smile
laylaindy

Joined: Jul 12
Posts: 9

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Posted: 28 Jul 2012, 03:10
Peperiniko walking on egg shells Smile)
mamajava

Joined: Jul 12
Posts: 60

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Posted: 28 Jul 2012, 08:04
To the OP...my post wasn't bashing in any way whatsoever. I was chiming in because I read your post in a public forum, whereby I took interest and responded. I wasn't "bothered" in the least, as you suggested to me. No, I'm not a buddy of yours in this forum, so your decisions don't affect me directly. I was trying to be nice and remind you that most people I know use this site merely to read other people's diet calendars, and to track themselves. I did care about your feelings of loneliness here in this forum, but judging by the dramatic posts you've put in here, I have a good idea of why your buddies aren't communicating with you. Best of luck with your weight loss journey.
2007 highest weight: 298
Started FatSecret 7/9/12: 278
8/13/12: 264
mamajava

Joined: Jul 12
Posts: 60

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Posted: 28 Jul 2012, 08:06
And your advice at the bottom of your last post? I'm thinking you may want to check yourself before you offer up such "wise" advice to others.
2007 highest weight: 298
Started FatSecret 7/9/12: 278
8/13/12: 264
Baxie

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 105

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Posted: 29 Jul 2012, 05:53
Well said, paperiniko.
Every day I wake up breathing is a good day!
Baxie

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 105

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Posted: 29 Jul 2012, 05:56
mamajava, she has a big ol' chip, that's all.
Every day I wake up breathing is a good day!
evelyn64

Joined: Jan 08
Posts: 520

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Posted: 29 Jul 2012, 10:03
I agree in that if people want to have interaction on their journals, they should respond in kind to those they send buddy requests to.

It irks me somewhat when people send me a buddy request and never say "boo" by way of introduction in a message or comment on a journal. What is their reason for the buddy request then? In those cases I give them a little time to "make themselves known" and, if not, I just delete them so I don't have their activity clog up my buddy news feed. If they want to read my journal or view my progress, they don't need to be my buddy to do that because my info is public. To me, a buddy is someone you interact with.

This site can be customized quite a bit to set it up for the kind of experience you want to have. There's nothing wrong with deleting buddies, changing preferences, making your journal or your weight private. It's all about what you want to give and get out of this site. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Live and let live!


IT NEVER GETS EASIER - YOU JUST GET BETTER.






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