husband likes me fat

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Joined: Jun 12
Posts: 20

Posted: 29 Jun 2012, 00:33
My husband is amazingly loving, but he prefers me fat. It is not exactly that he isn't supportive, but he always tells me "lose all the weight you want as long as you don't lose your butt". Any advice for helping him understand why I need to do this?

Joined: Jun 11
Posts: 13

Posted: 29 Jun 2012, 00:42
Oh God, my boyfriend says the same thing. It's funny. Problem is that I will always have a shapely behind no matter what. I think I am naturally larger on the bottom -- thicker hips, shapely butt, thicker thighs lol Let me see...I guess that it would be up to you. I guess that he really needs to see where you're coming from. My favorite excuse is that it's for my health. It really is for my health, but it always hits home. It always seems to work on even the most supportive people. I try to leave the physical aspect out of it. I always emphasize health...diabetes runs in the family, heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholestorol, cancer, etc. I don't want to contract any of those so I tell everybody that I'm fighting it...that might help him understand. Heck, you may be shaped to have a sexy butt anyhow Smile You never know. I just know that when I was 145 pounds (my average weight, the weight that I loved), I still had the hips, butt, and thighs. We're all built differently. Many people prefer having a shapely butt Smile

Joined: Jun 11
Posts: 13

Posted: 29 Jun 2012, 00:44
Oh, not to mention stroke! That runs in the family too. Play up the health thing -- I promise you that he will be all on your side. Scare him a little him some statistics.

Joined: Sep 10
Posts: 22

Posted: 29 Jun 2012, 14:22
I might be off course with this observation & I do not mean to state that YOUR husband is -- but SOME men seem intimidated or worried when their wives lose weight -- especially when we receive compliments from our mutual male friends. Our old friend said years ago, "Deb has started to take care of herself. She is losing weight & she has hi-lighted her hair. I think she is on the prowl." Six months later the couple separated. She has never remarried & did not date after their divorce. He dated many women and is now (un)happily married again.

Joined: Jun 12
Posts: 3

Posted: 29 Jun 2012, 15:33
My ex-boyfriend actually tried to prevent me from losing weight by buying all kinds of crap food - even when I asked him to stop! I see now that it was his way of controlling me. I'm not saying that your DH is that way, but being as independent as I am, I'm of the mind that it's up to me what I want to do with my body - and no one else has the right to sabotage me.

Tell him that it will make *you* feel better, healthier and sexier (it will), and he, in turn, will reap the rewards. Wink

Joined: Apr 11
Posts: 367

Posted: 29 Jun 2012, 18:02
My husband also likes "thick" girls. I told him to suck it. I'm gonna look the way I wanna look.

He's totally supportive now. Especially after his recent trip to georgia. He now says that I look the best out of any of the wives of his friends. Smile

when my husband used to bring bad foods around me that I've got no control over, I'd eat one and then take the rest to work and put it in the kitchen for my coworkers. But everytime, I'd call him out on his sabotaging. I'd say, "You're sabotaging me on purpose, aren't you?" and he'd deny it and say something like "I just don't know what to buy you as a little treat any more." I told him to buy me very expensive vegan dark chocolate or fruit. He finally stopped doing it. Smile
155: After regaining 16 pounds. It's my goal again.
155: Goal Weight | March 17, 2012!!!! I did it!
Size 8: levi's jeans | February 3, 2012 (Actually, I'm a size 6. I skipped Cool
168: BMI 24.8 no longer overweight | December 1, 2011
174: Vegas vacation | September 15, 2011 (two weeks early)
180: first 27 pounds gone | August 25, 2011
186: 10% body weight lost | July 14, 2011
199: 200's gone forever | May 12, 2011
207: Starting Weight | April 28, 2011

Joined: Apr 12
Posts: 1

Posted: 03 Jul 2012, 18:07
Having a big butt will not give u cancer or in anyway denote that u will have some sort of horrid weight related disease. If he said lose all the weight u want the do it. Having a big butt doesn't make u fat. If u want to tighten it up do a ton of squats. We are paranoid about some not so likely things if WE EAT RIGHT. Celebrate what people are paying big bucks to get.

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 200

Posted: 03 Jul 2012, 20:22
You can get a great, shapely, and healthy butt by doing loads of squats and lunges at the gym. Weightloss does not have to equal a non-existant booty

Joined: Jul 12
Posts: 1

Posted: 03 Jul 2012, 20:42
Haha. So lucky of you to have found a hubby like that

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 1

Posted: 05 Jul 2012, 00:21
got pic's, we could take a vote. lol
Really most men will say we like you the way you are. In a way we are trying to be supportive (we are probaly just not very good at it).
However I am sure most guys want their wives to be happy and in good health. Take care of your health, he will love it.
Lisa Jolan

Joined: Jul 12
Posts: 3

Posted: 06 Jul 2012, 01:04
it's funny most men want slim and fit women. I think your husband loves you so much.

Joined: Oct 07
Posts: 59

Posted: 06 Jul 2012, 01:12
As my husband always says there is nothing more attractive about a woman than confidence. It matters not so much what you weigh but how you carry yourself and how you feel about yourself. Men can sense when a woman is comfortable in her own skin...

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 275

Posted: 06 Jul 2012, 11:25
Tell him he can have a short marriage to a heavy wife that ends in her early death, or a long marriage to the woman he loves at a fit and healthy size.

Joined: Sep 11
Posts: 22

Posted: 08 Jul 2012, 12:02
Ha ha yes, there are a lot of men out there that LOVE us large-n-lovely ladies. Smile No matter what size you are, if you feel confident and sexy, he will be happy for you. You can do it!

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 79

Posted: 09 Jul 2012, 08:04
My husband is the same. He ALWAYS brings me home "treats", but I honestly don't think he is trying to "sabotage" my diet or keep me fat. My husband is a very very very kind giving person and he just likes to give me things when I've had a bad day, when I'm feeling bad, or just for the heck of it (ironically, the only time I don't get things are when he is in the dog house Very Happy).

We are a low income family, but I have expensive taste. The only thing we can really afford that he can buy me as a "gift" in the past to put a smile on my face is food.

He used to buy me flowers a lot, but I've since asked him to stop doing that. I HATE flowers because they're expensive and they just die, and we need them money for more important things. He used to try to buy me live plants as gifts, but I have a black thumb and tend to kill everything.

I've just recently told my husband, instead of food, if you want to do something to make me happy, do the dishes. That would put me on cloud nine!

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