So close to goal, but now I feel like I am sabotaging myself

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lovingmomma

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 102

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Posted: 17 May 2012, 17:07
I am 5 pounds away from my goal. I have been working so hard, and for a good while here it hasn't been to hard to stick to it, I have gotten very comfortable with the way I eat, I feel better, I have been exercising 5 days a week since January, and so on. But all of a sudden I just want to eat everything, that little voice keeps creeping in telling me its ok, that even if I give in I can easily loose those few pounds again. That I just don't want to do it anymore and so on. I suddenly have to force myself to work out again too, like in the begining, and I don't push as hard as I should when I do.
I was one pound away from my goal 2 1/2 weeks ago. A measly one pound. But my husband was home and I ate horribly, I told myself I was going to do it, I was going to be good, and loose that one pound, but I just couldn't I gained 4 lbs back in the two weeks he was home. (he works away from home two weeks and then is home two weeks)It is always harder when he is here, but not normally this bad.
I feel like there is some mental block that I won't let myself be succesful. I know that I want to keep going to when I get there because I am still not where I want to be, so I want to loose another 10 lbs, so I am not as excited about reaching this goal as I should be. I just need to get passed this, stop allowing myself to binge on whatever and finish this! I know this, but I am seriously struggling with it! Has anyone else experienced this? How did you get past it?


Starting weight- 219 lbs May 2011
Goal 150 lbs- my original main goal, reached 6/22/2012! Yipee!

Pregnant with baby # 4. Gained 55 lbs. Weight at end of pregnancy 8/9/2013 204 lbs
Goal 1- 175 lbs reached February 23, 2014
Goal 2- 160 lb
holfraz

Joined: Mar 12
Posts: 178

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Posted: 17 May 2012, 17:59
You can do this. Look how far you've already come. Failure doesnt make one a failure; giving up makes one a failure. Every successful person has experienced many failures before they reach success. We learn by trial and error. Visualization is perhaps the most powerful tool we can use to reach success. Visualize yourself constantly at the weight you want to be at. Take a pencil and paper right now, and draw a picture of your new thin self. Put this picture in a place where you will constantly be looking at it. It will keep the image in your head and inspire motivation, even on a subconscious level. And don't be so hard on yourself for minor set-backs; just learn from them. What can you try differently the next time you are faced with that situation? You are doing something right- look how far you've come already.
lovingmomma

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 102

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Posted: 17 May 2012, 18:27
Thank you, I know that we all have set backs, maybe it is just that much more depressing when it is so close to the end! Having this site to come to and get encouragment and advice is very helpful though!


Starting weight- 219 lbs May 2011
Goal 150 lbs- my original main goal, reached 6/22/2012! Yipee!

Pregnant with baby # 4. Gained 55 lbs. Weight at end of pregnancy 8/9/2013 204 lbs
Goal 1- 175 lbs reached February 23, 2014
Goal 2- 160 lb
holfraz

Joined: Mar 12
Posts: 178

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Posted: 17 May 2012, 18:39
Well, the last few lbs. is what I struggled with for 20 yrs! Not until I discovered this web site and started counting calories did I finally get those last lbs. off. Unfortunately, the less we weigh, the less calories we are able to consume and maintain that lower weight. On top of that, the harder we have to work to burn the same amount of calories as we would have before. The reason for that is because we have less weight to carry around with us while we are burning calories. But the smaller we get, the smaller our stomachs get too, so it balances out really. I've read numerous times that if a person desires to weigh 140 lbs, they should only consume 1400 calories a day. If desired weight is 130, they should only consume 1300 and so on. I dont know if that will be a helpful guide for you or not but I'm certain the picture you draw will help you succeed. Just keep seeing that new thin you!
erika2633

Joined: Nov 11
Posts: 804

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Posted: 17 May 2012, 18:40
I weighed 157 on March 3 of this year (2 pounds away from my goal weight) and didn't hit/surpass my actual goal weight until exactly a month later. I bounced around within 5 pounds of my goal weight for that whole month, and I know I wasn't 'sabotaging' myself, I just wasn't tracking quite as closely and working quite as hard as I had been!! But I was very determined to hit that goal number, so it didn't really bug me too much, I just kept plugging away! And I'm happy to say that I've been bouncing around within 4 pounds UNDER my goal weight ever since then!

Anyway, back to you.. Smile If you say you're "not excited about this goal as you should be", then maybe it's just not a good goal for you! Think about what the difference will be between the way you look/feel right now and the way you will look/feel 10 pounds lighter. Then decide if you want to make the commitment, and then just DO IT! Smile


Someone who is busier than you is working out right now.
There will come a day when you can no longer do this. Today is not that day.
mlb98

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 67

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Posted: 17 May 2012, 18:47
Congrats on your loss so far...and so close to goal. I can imagine your frustration. I can also understand that because you are so close...you feel you can ease up a little and not work so hard.

Perhaps you need a new motivator or incentive. What could you reward yourself with when you reach goal....something that will really incent you to push your way there.

It also sounds like you need a new plan now that you are almost at goal. In the beginning we know we have to eat less, be more active, track calories, make smart choices, etc. Now that you are close to maintenance mode - what does that look like; how many calories can you consume; how hard will you exercise, etc. Whether you decide to lose another 10 pounds or not....perhaps write up a plan for what maintenance mode looks like for you. That might help you visualize the next phase, make better choices and not slide backwards.

You have done an amazing job of making it this far...you will make it to goal...and you can make this lifestyle work for you. Outline what you have to do to make it and take control....a few weeks from now you will be thrilled to be where you are.


A year from now you will look back and wish you had started today.
lovingmomma

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 102

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Posted: 17 May 2012, 19:01
Thanks, I think I really do just need to set my new goal now, I have been waiting until I hit that big mark to even do it, but I know that it isn't where I want to be yet. I think it has just been a little deperessing that I still have so much work to do, so much farther to go when I really had thought that this would be a perfect weight for me, so I kind of started feeling like giving up. That to me is why I have been feeling like I have been sabotaging my efforts. Half of me is saying you can do this, don't worry about it, you can make it there, just keep working. The other half is saying, this sucks, you can just quite for a while then loose it again later. But I really do feel better now. I think maybe I am being to stict with what I eat, and that has been depressing. I think I am going to try a few things differently and see how it goes. Allow myself more food freedom. Thank you all for your input it really did help!


Starting weight- 219 lbs May 2011
Goal 150 lbs- my original main goal, reached 6/22/2012! Yipee!

Pregnant with baby # 4. Gained 55 lbs. Weight at end of pregnancy 8/9/2013 204 lbs
Goal 1- 175 lbs reached February 23, 2014
Goal 2- 160 lb
Heidijoy

Joined: Apr 12
Posts: 77

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Posted: 17 May 2012, 23:01
When I hit a wall, I change it up! Switch foods, switch exercise, even switch your sleep schedule. How about trying green smoothies? I confess I just bought a Groupon for an erotic dance class (clothes on!) because I thought it would be a fun workout and a good surprise for my hubby.
I am not losing weight. I am gaining health. Since April 24, 2012:
shellysue55

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 82

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Posted: 18 May 2012, 00:57
I think your post was calling me. Being nice outside I don't spend a lot of time on the computer but decided to tonight. I feel the same way. I have not posted new weight in 67 days because I keep losing and gaining the same (blank) pounds. Ask myself WHY r u doing this to yourself!? Knowing I am not the only one will help get thru these next 10 pounds. We r in this together. My eating sucks when hubby is home too. He works 5 off 5 on. However it is our bodies. Remember how good u feel when eating well. Let's re commit and drop these 10 pounds! Message me to keep in touch!
My world is filled with divine abundance and unlimited potential.
Sheryl10

Joined: Jun 10
Posts: 182

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Posted: 18 May 2012, 07:25
I agree that the mind can mess with you and tell you that if you came close once, you can come close again, lose that 5 pounds again, etc.

Also - - do you think there's something else going on, that achieving that goal is sort of scary? When you've had a goal for a while and you achieve it, I think you can feel sort of "purposeless" because you've been focused on that thing for so long. Maybe think about the time beyond reaching that goal and make a list of new goals, whether they're health/fitness related or something else, things to focus on after you reach goal weight.

Best wishes.

Man who say it cannot be done should not interrupt man doing it - Chinese Proverb

"Eat food, not too much, mostly plants." Michael Pollan
mlb98

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 67

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Posted: 18 May 2012, 10:10
Maybe you need to think about your current weight goal differently. You say you thought this would be ideal and now you are disappointed that it isn't and you want to lose 10 more pounds.

I chose my initial goal as 160 pounds. Although this is 45 pounds lighter than where I was in December..it is still not an ideal weight for my height. However I chose 160, because I could remember a time when I was that weight (many years ago!) and it felt achievable to me.

If I had put 150 pounds or 140 pounds...it seemed just so far away, I'm not sure I would have made it. However, I knew that if/when I did make it to 160...then I would almost certainly introduce a new goal of somewhere in the 140-150 range.

It's ok to do this in stages. I just felt that it was more achievable for me. So you could look at it in the same way...you have almost reached goal one...celebrate it and onto goal 2.

It's ok to be frustrated and disappointed....acknowledge it, banish it and now time to take control and work thru it. That's why FS and the support you get here is so beneficial...we all need help and motivation. Good luck!



A year from now you will look back and wish you had started today.
Losin25

Joined: Apr 11
Posts: 367

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Posted: 18 May 2012, 11:04
It took me 5 months to lose my last 10 pounds. It was brutal. the closer I got to goal the harder and harder it got. But I perservered and i did it. You can too!

When I would find myself struggling, i would give my self daily targets to reach until I got back with the plan. For example, I'd make myself journal every day, track everything, drink X glasses of water, exercise 30 mins...Then in my journal every day, I'd tally up how I did and make myself accountable for it. That's a very powerful tool and it really worked for me.

Good luck on this. I'm pulling for you!
============================================
155: After regaining 16 pounds. It's my goal again.
155: Goal Weight | March 17, 2012!!!! I did it!
Size 8: levi's jeans | February 3, 2012 (Actually, I'm a size 6. I skipped Cool
168: BMI 24.8 no longer overweight | December 1, 2011
174: Vegas vacation | September 15, 2011 (two weeks early)
180: first 27 pounds gone | August 25, 2011
186: 10% body weight lost | July 14, 2011
199: 200's gone forever | May 12, 2011
207: Starting Weight | April 28, 2011
lisakp71

Joined: Jun 10
Posts: 527

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Posted: 18 May 2012, 11:37
Maybe you're like me: I'm naturally a ponderer, and I've found that to translate into needing to take a pause now and then in weight loss.

I have been living like I'm maintaining for a few months (very successfully - within 3-4 lbs of my last official weigh-in - so that part is great!), and am just now getting the itch to get back into the swing of losing weight again.

Don't give in to the "whatever, eat like crap - you know you can lose it again" voice, because THAT won't be any fun to fix...but maybe you just need to hit your stride, take a breather and just CHILL for a bit. Mental health month or whatever. Smile

Everybody handles change and stress differently. It's okay to not be fully gung-ho every minute of every day!
lovingmomma

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 102

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Posted: 18 May 2012, 12:07
Thank you all, you all have such great advice. I decided to stop waiting to hit that 150 lb mark to change my goal, and decided to change it to 140 now. I know that I still have a bit to go, so reaching for my "final goal" that I knew isn't final just wasn't motivating me anymore. I will still be super excited when I hit that mark though! I also think a lot of my mindset has been that I just don't know how I am going to do this for the rest of my life. So exhuasting! I think that I just need to completely change things up for a while, try to find a way to really enjoy my eating, and find a way to make it something that doesn't seem to be so all consuming. After all this is not just about loosing the weight, but loosing it and finding a place where I can live and be happy for the rest of my life.
Reaching my goal is intimidating to me, it scares me a little bit. Not to sure why, I think this is something I need to figure out and pray on. It just goes to show that loosing weight isn't just about eating, and exercise, I really believe it is a mental battle more then anything!
I really like the low carb thing, I like the way I feel when I eat less carbs, but I think that I am just becoming bored with it. And I'm not sure I can eat this way my whole life. I came across a post of Keld's yesterday http://www.fatsecret.com/Community.aspx?pa=fp&t=80703 I think I am going to try this, I think I need to build a healthy relationship with all kinds of foods. To stop being afraid of eating, which then when I have a chance to eat something I know I shouldn't I just want to eat it all, right then. And it is almost like I want it that much more because I can't have it.
I think I will just give it a shot for a couple weeks, and see how it goes. I know that I will still choose lots of good for me foods because I really do enjoy them, but I need to learn to live with my eating for life. I think this is a great way for me to start. I love how supportive this site, and everyone on it is! Thank you all!


Starting weight- 219 lbs May 2011
Goal 150 lbs- my original main goal, reached 6/22/2012! Yipee!

Pregnant with baby # 4. Gained 55 lbs. Weight at end of pregnancy 8/9/2013 204 lbs
Goal 1- 175 lbs reached February 23, 2014
Goal 2- 160 lb
M.Trublu

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 279

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Posted: 18 May 2012, 12:38
I know exactly where you are coming from. I was 1 lb away from my goal in the beginning of the year and have yet to reach goal. I have fluctuated for months and then this past month I went up to another level. At this point I just know I have to get serious and lose the weight but I wonder how it was so easy before and then once I could see the goal within reach I went backwards. Now I feel like I have to be so much stricter with my diet to even lose a pound. As for my workouts, I was so motivated before. I would be in the gym for an hour and a half to 2 hours no problem. Now I am dragging myself to the gym and wrapping it up in 45 minutes. I don't know where the excitement/motivation goes or how to get it back to full force again but I have finally gotten to a better place. Since I have only been back for a few days I don't want to jinx it. For now my motivation is to make sure my clothes continue to fit comfortably or loose. I don't want to get to that point where my clothes are too tight or worse...I have to buy bigger clothes again. YIKES! That alone got me back in the gym. It may take a different motivation for you but b/c you have done so great for so long I know it is in there and ready to come out again. Let's keep each other motivated to get to a new low.
M. Trublu


mars2kids

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 1,240

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Posted: 18 May 2012, 14:00
I'm right at my first small goal and I'm struggling a bit too. For me I think my mentality goes to, "Well, I'm getting to my goal, so I can eat a little more junk now, and don't have to exercise as much, right?" Wrong! What is helping me is doing a new workout routine that I was excited to start. Also, I haven't been buying the junk food, I've still been buying the healthier foods so if it's not in the house I can't eat it. Like Heidijoy said, switch it up. I find that switching my exercise or trying some new healthy foods/recipes gives me something to look forward to and that's going to keep me going to get to my next goal. We can all do this!!
Goals for 2014:
Complete Couch to 5K- DONE!!!
Sign up for and complete a 5K- DONE!! 35 mins.
Plan at least 3 outings with the family that involve being active- 2 done
NCNOLE

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 1,218

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Posted: 18 May 2012, 15:13
How about a trip to the mall? Try on some clothes - that might help with the motivation. You don't have to buy anything.



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