Will I ever not FEEL fat??!!!! Do you have this issue or have overcomed it??

2 PAGES
1 | 2
previous topic · next topic
mouse4

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 101

      quote  
Posted: 30 Mar 2011, 08:38
Ok, so I am down 92 pounds, lost over 10 inches on my waist alone,and have gone from a size 24 to a size 12. So great job, right??? THEN WHY DO I STILL FEEL REALLY FAT????
Will I ever not feel like I am the fat girl in the room or like I am really how others see me?
Has anyone else felt like this?
Have you overcome it and how??

It's really soemthing that bothers me a lot!!!
Thanks!!!!
sooki

Joined: Dec 09
Posts: 795

      quote  
Posted: 30 Mar 2011, 08:44
I'm reading the latest Atkins book, and it addresses this. I found it really interesting. It hypothesizes that it takes about 6 months to start understanding how big you really are once you get to a new weight.

It suggested an experiment. It said take two kitchen chair and place them back to back and widen them out to how wide you think you are.

It said that people who have lost weight recently always over estimate and people who haven't always tend to be pretty dead on.

So, there! There's a real reason you still feel like a size 24. It said it's based on the same instinct that allows you to touch your nose with your eyes closed, something about your own spatial awareness. And, it should go away.

I thought it was fascinating.
DISCLAIMER: I expect to lose this weight over the next 6 months to 5 years. I'm not going to feel like a failure if it takes an entire month to lose 1 pound. I'm going to feel like a success when that happens! I may offer advice that I'm currently not taking myself. Feel free to call me on that!
PantherIII

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 282

      quote  
Posted: 30 Mar 2011, 08:46
Sad I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling like this mouse! It is rough, you have lost a lot of weight and with each lb. you lose you expect more of yourself and want to see EVEN MORE RESULTS. Someone made a thread the other day that said something like they went back and looked at old pictures when they were feeling down. If you have lost 92 lbs, it may help to look at the progress you made. Looking at your profile picture I think you have a nice thin face w/excellent bone structure, a great smile, and gorgeous hair. Focus on some of the positives, and all the negatives might decline a little bit. Otherwise, keep up the great work and try to be satisfied as much as possible for what you have accomplished (not many people can do what you have done)
Logging the Spike Diet w/my journal. Add me as a buddy if you want to see how it goes.
mouse4

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 101

      quote  
Posted: 30 Mar 2011, 08:57
That article does sound interesting - going to try that tonight in the kitchen!!

Thanks Panther! I've done exactly that - and made a collage of my past year. I can see the changes - but I don't feel like I've changed. I hope that feeling goes away soon!!! But - I'll keep plugging on until it does!!

k8yk

Joined: Jan 09
Posts: 4,546

      quote  
Posted: 30 Mar 2011, 10:25
I stopped "feeling fat" long before I stopped being fat, lol Smile

I think I know what you mean by "feeling fat". You feel uncomfortable with yourself, you look in the mirror and just see negative, negative negative, you have a hard time thinking that you are any smaller than you used to be. And do you talk to yourself negatively about your body? Like "Ugh, look at my fat X, it's so gross."?

I think, there could be a lot of things going on. One, it's difficult to see changes when they happen gradually. It takes time to get used to a new body. I'm finally getting to where I can pick up a pair of jeans and say "these are going to fit" and be right about it, rather than ending up in the dressing room with a lot of too big clothes and having to go back for smaller sizes.

Also, I think self-acceptance and kindness comes from within and isn't dependent upon what you look like. You can be heavy and love yourself and accept yourself flaws and all. You can also be thin and hate yourself and pick yourself apart. I think it's a choice we have to make to decide to be kind to ourselves.

Feeling fat, to me, is something women (sorry guys) feel when we're feeling bad about ourselves. It's how we berate ourselves. It's practically the worst insult we can hear. "Fat" hurts a lot more than "Stupid", doesn't it? I think that's really dumb, personally, but that seems to be the way it is.

I think it helped me a lot to make the conscious decision to NOT berate myself. Look in the mirror and say something nice to yourself. If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, don't say it to yourself. And just know that it's a continuum and you're never going to be in a perfect body. Such a thing does not exist. So it will be very beneficial to you to learn to accept yourself as is. Self-acceptance doesn't have to mean you stop improving. But you have a lot to be proud of, and it's worth a lot more than some societal ideal of thinness.

Your weight won't make you happy with yourself. That has to come from within.
My blog, This is not a Diet:
http://notsobigk.wordpress.com
Follow me on Facebook for tips, recipes, advice, exercise ideas and more:
http://www.facebook.com/notadiet
solly93

Joined: Sep 10
Posts: 9

      quote  
Posted: 30 Mar 2011, 10:31
First, congratulations on your achievement - that is awesome!

I have lost about 90 lbs since last March (about 8 inches on my waist, body fat dropped from ~36% to ~22%) and still see myself as the big guy that I was. I talked to my doctor about this phenomenon and he likened it to phantom limbs. He said many people, after significant weight loss, still act as though they are heavy. They may walk like the extra weight is still there and wiggle themselves into a chair they don't have to be wiggling into anymore.

Pictures are a good visual clue for me, but my brain is still not on board with my reality - not yet anyway. I am thinking it is a matter of time and will be different for everyone.
mouse4

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 101

      quote  
Posted: 30 Mar 2011, 13:26
Thanks again everyone. I know seeing that picture helps me, but I still think I need to shop in the 'fat' stores and yeah, find myself thinking clothes just aren't going to fit. Hopefully soon that will change!!!
KathyKlown

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 2

      quote  
Posted: 30 Mar 2011, 15:47
I definitely know what you mean. I lost 197 lbs after having gastric bypass surgery over 3 years ago. Went from a womens size 38 to a size 18 and everytime I looked in the mirror saw that size 38 person. I kept a pair of my size 38 pants to compare with my smaller clothes and I could definitely see the difference but no matter what I still saw myself the same. Pictures didn't help either. It's weird how you can see it but you can't "see it" in yourself. I've gained about 50 pounds of what I lost back and am now trying to get that off pluse a some more.
relz

Joined: Apr 10
Posts: 283

      quote  
Posted: 30 Mar 2011, 15:57
mouse4--I understand how you feel. I've lost just about 40 pounds and went from a size 16 to a size 6. My weight has been stable for a few months now, and I felt fat for a very long time. Perhaps it is just about one's own spatial awareness. Perhaps it is just habit of mind. It gets better. Now I only feel that way when I have had a lot to eat or I am bloated for other reasons. In fact, just last night I was reminding myself that yes, I feel huge right now, but the pants I am wearing are still a size 6 and they still fit! Talk yourself through those moments and hopefully they will become less frequent.

Congratulations on your success!
margd1

Joined: Jan 10
Posts: 134

      quote  
Posted: 30 Mar 2011, 16:18
I love this thread - 54 lbs down, and I can sympathize with you all! Some days I feel skinny as a rail (ok, rarely) and some days I feel like I haven't lost a single lb. Can you say lifelong battle with body image? Ugh.

Anyway congratulations on your immense success! That is so wonderful! Fall in love with your journey. I've found that no matter what I look like, knowing that I shed almost 55 lbs (what is that these days, a 1st-grader?) makes it at least semi-relative Smile
Margaret - "She's got the joie de vie."
Trudycleal

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 6

      quote  
Posted: 30 Mar 2011, 16:41
Heck I have lost 67 lbs and wear a size 10 but the moment I walk into the gym I feel like a huge cow! I figure once I am a size 4 I might feel thin but right not I feel like a huge bleah!!!!
mouse4

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 101

      quote  
Posted: 31 Mar 2011, 07:38
LOL @ Trudy - you go girl!! I will never see a size 4 - my body and bone composition will not allow that. I will be happy to get to a size 8, and then I would feel like a 4 I think...lol. I did the CHAIR TEST last night, and let me tell you, I do have a fat perception of myself... it could have fit two of me in it!!! I still carry myself like that fat size I was, and even dress like it.

So today - I tried something... I wore a very fitting pair of black pants, that I normally wouldn't - and a fitted sweater with a lower cowl neck. So far I have gotten 4 compliments on how I look, and I even feel like I am walking taller and straighter. I even thought I looked good when I looked in the mirror today. (And funny note - it is so much EASIER to walk in heels now than it was 90something pounds ago!!!) I think I need to do some clothes shopping so I can see myself in a more 'thin' light too. Wearing the same baggy stuff isn't helping my attitude toward me at all. I really like myself today!!!!
We are all doing great - now we need to help ourselves feel great!!!!
sooki

Joined: Dec 09
Posts: 795

      quote  
Posted: 31 Mar 2011, 08:00
My younger sister always felt like no one gave her a second look. Then, I don't know. Something happened. She lost a lot of weight because she had a crazy schedule. She accomplished huge things in her life. Now, she's got so much self confidence, she's borderline obnoxious! And, people do give her second looks now!

I think the thing is this...fake it until you make it. Good job today. Just keep it up!

I was curious if you were going to do the chair test. Interesting!
DISCLAIMER: I expect to lose this weight over the next 6 months to 5 years. I'm not going to feel like a failure if it takes an entire month to lose 1 pound. I'm going to feel like a success when that happens! I may offer advice that I'm currently not taking myself. Feel free to call me on that!
Sherillynn

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 268

      quote  
Posted: 31 Mar 2011, 09:57
I am reading a book right now called "Women, Food and God" and it talks about this very subject. What I found fascinating is that many people after they lose weight, still don't like themselves. They are always looking for the flaw and always thinking they are less than perfect or less than good. For me, I've always thought if my weight were "normal" I would be more acceptable or more loveable. You gals should look this book up. It hits a lot of my neurosis about my body on the head. I haven't finished it yet so I don't know how to"fix" myself but when I do I'll share! lol
** Goal 1- 20 pounds- 4/30/2013
** Goal 2- get back down to wearing size 16 jeans
** Goal 3- normal blood pressure
** Goal 4- well below "One" Derland
** Goal 5- 600 miles this year in 200 mile increments
** Goal 6- Decreased back and knee pain

Blessings,
Sherill


lrotherm

Joined: Dec 10
Posts: 7

      quote  
Posted: 31 Mar 2011, 10:56
For some reason, I thought I was fat at 118 lbs and size 5 jeans. Now that I am much heavier I hate myself for thinking that way. I don't think I'll ever be happy with my body. I see other women with curves and I think they look gorgeous. Even though they are bigger than me, I wish I could have their bodies! I don't get it! I'm guessing their self confidence has a lot to do with it.
FrostyLady

Joined: Dec 09
Posts: 366

      quote  
Posted: 31 Mar 2011, 18:32
Back to my skinny self and it still gets ugly the minute I undress!!!!
What counts for me now is that I'm so much healthier and I have so much more energy!! We will never have the perfect body but we can work on it getting better. Take care!!!!! It will get better!!
Cinnamonrat

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 23

      quote  
Posted: 31 Mar 2011, 18:39
Mouse,
I weigh 94 pounds and I still feel fat. It's mental and not many people understand. I could never walk into a room and say "gee I feel fat today" because someone would stab me, people under 100 lbs aren't "aloud" to feel fat. Yet I do and I don't know if it's that I feel "fat" or if what I'm trying to artuclate is that I feel uncomfortable, I feel unattractive, I feel less than everyone else, I feel ugly and I feel like people are judging me. Hang in there. You look beautiful. I hope that you find peace, personally I pray, but that's just me but know that you aren't alone and just because you think it doesn't mean it's true.
Sincerely,
Rat <:3)~
Hermiones...

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 400

      quote  
Posted: 31 Mar 2011, 22:02
This is what I love about FS. Reading these exchanges help me understand more about myself and realize how lucky I am in so many ways. Because I had a great job the past year (now gone, sadly), I had the opportunity to replace my pants and shells as I changed sizes. I've continued to wear many of the same jackets,although they, too, will have to go soon -- but because I could drop by the Jones of New York Outlet every few months and get smaller pants (one black, one gray, one taupe or camel), I stayed in very close touch with the fact that I was getting noticeably smaller. So Mouse -- definitely -- go shopping. And try to make at least one stop at a store where someone will really wait on you and give you feedback on how you look in the new clothes you're trying on. It might reall help to see how someone who never saw you as a fat person reacts to you in clothes.
mikeg68

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 6

      quote  
Posted: 01 Apr 2011, 02:27
Hey guys, just joined up and glad to see you're having great success. I used P90X (google it if you dont know what it is) and it worked wonders. I only wanted to lose body fat and about 14lbs, which i did easily. Your stories really help others follow their dreams.

healthnutmom

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 104

      quote  
Posted: 01 Apr 2011, 07:04
Yeah, Relz, that's what I do, too. I just keep saying to myself, "I'm wearing a size 6...I'm wearing a size 6....It's impossible to gain 10 pounds of fat in one day....It's impossible..."



Forum Search
Advanced forum search



Latest Posts

new to myfatsecret
Take care of your health and that soon to be beautiful babies health first! think of weight loss as a plus to healthy living. Eat healthy = lose weight! and do the best you can for both of you, trust ...
by mummydee on 28 Aug 14 08:36 PM
Weird
ok thank you :)
by LMS1230 on 28 Aug 14 07:39 PM
Sharing for Comments and Thoughts
Promise the candy, serve the strained peas.... To me it is kind of a metaphor for marriage, but that's just me.....
by eddie1261 on 28 Aug 14 05:08 PM
food diary acting up?!!
ketojane wrote: What a relief to find that this has happened to others. It's an annoyance to have to change the calendar every day or to find that entries have disappeared. Exactly!
by sjdallas on 28 Aug 14 03:57 PM
drinking water strategy
You can ease into drinking more water. Everyone's body is different and requires different amounts of vitamins, minerals, water, etc. The time of year, or the location of where you live may have a ...
by ertspooh on 28 Aug 14 03:24 PM