No one noticed the weight loss

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ClassicRocke...

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 818

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Posted: 18 Mar 2013, 21:39
Haven't seen them in over 6 months. And no one noticed the loss. Over a good 25lbs. Hubby said the jeans and top were too baggy.

Okay... time to get over myself. Remember... I'm doing this for myself and no one else and I don't need anyone's approval or praise (yeah, right Kath...) :~) Sure would help keep the fire burning to continue losing.



Goal: 160 by 5/1/2014
155 or less by 9/1/2014

May I be free to be the me that I came into this world to be.
blueniamh

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 102

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Posted: 18 Mar 2013, 22:48
It can be really discouraging when you've lost a lot of weight and no one notices. I've been on both sides of this coin, no one having noticed my loss or not having noticed someone else's (which yes, ticked them off). Honestly, it's not something I tend to be particularly tuned into when other people lose weight, how I feel about someone isn't dependent on their weight. I think a lot of people are like this. If it's something really important to you, then often the best thing to do is to open up to a couple people e.g. hubby...so that he can share the up's and down's. I know this doesn't feel like 'real' recognition, but at the end of the day and depending on where you started, generally people don't seem to notice until you've lost, I don't know, an average 8 year old child or something (yes - seriously, and even then, they don't realise how much weight that took). As corny as it is, sometimes you really do have to be your own cheerleader.
KellyM25

Joined: Feb 13
Posts: 49

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Posted: 19 Mar 2013, 07:01
Oh bless! How discouraging! You have done so well but all that blueniamh says is true. I once asked a friend who I hadn't seen if she had changed her hair because she looked different and she replied that she hadn't but that she had lost 40lb. I was so embarrassed! That was actually a compliment I guess because she always looks great and I obviously hadn't noticed the excess baggage before it was gone.
I always want people to notice my weight-loss...don't ask me why as it is none of their business and I would hate it if it was contrived so I rely on my husband to tell me that my bum feels smaller lol and my kids tell me that I look great when I make an extra effort to wear something nice. They may be faking it but hey, it feels good to have a compliment from your nearest and dearest and don't worry about what the others think. Tell yourself that they must have always thought you look as great as you do now Smile
2014 onward....working to be the best that I can be both inside and out.
LightMage

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 23

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Posted: 19 Mar 2013, 07:02
don't sweat it too much. you're doing awesome! plus sometimes people can be very self-absorbed & they don't notice things, even major things, about others.

I know my first 15 pounds or so was water weight I lost, mostly in my calfs. I could tell by measuring. so probably, that wasn't very obvious. when I got beyond that, people commented. but until very recently, I couldn't see me getting smaller. sure, I was down sizes, but I couldn't see it. I kept wondering what others were seeing.

a couple a weeks ago, I saw a girl who I hadn't seen in probably 8 months. she said she had lost 30 pounds. I couldn't see it, but I said it was wonderful.

so don't worry, it will come. remember, you're doing it for YOU & you're doing great!
Nathashae

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 105

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Posted: 19 Mar 2013, 07:18
I understand the feeling my hubby didnt notice my weight loss and we live together!!! He was still stuck on "u really let yourself go the last 2 years"! But my brother came to visit after not seeing me in about 4 months and exclaimed over how I looked.

Congratulations on your weight loss! Keep up the good work! Smile
shmiller

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 497

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Posted: 19 Mar 2013, 07:23
Sometimes, I think, people don't mention it, even though they've noticed it, for fear of offending you that you were overweight before you lost the weight. Think about a time you noticed someone who lost. Did you mention it? Sometimes I don't, not to be cruel, or not to ignore their hard work, but I don't want them to think I noticed their prior fattiness. Does that make sense?
"The grass ain't greener, the wine ain't sweeter, either side of the hill" The Grateful Dead
ClassicRocke...

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 818

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Posted: 19 Mar 2013, 10:42
A lot of different points of view and I do appreciate it.

I was always the heaviest and when one of them decided to diet and lost 5 lbs, they got ticked I didn't jump up and gush all over them.

Yeppers... hubby hardly noticed I'd lost the weight and we see each other all day every day. Just says my clothes are too baggy. DUH!!! Wonder why? Sheesh. And as to the change in hair color. Yeppers. SIL asked if I'd dyed my hair and was going brunette to cover the gray. Which I have very little of even at 61. At that time, I'd lost almost 40lbs. She expects you to notice if she changes the color of her eye shadow. And gets miffed if you don't.

Son noticed so that matters and it influenced him to start dieting and has lost 11 lbs in 3 weeks. So if I'm an influence of my beautiful son, that's all that really matters. Right? Right!!!

Hugs to everyone who took the time to send your encouragement. Means an awful lot.



Goal: 160 by 5/1/2014
155 or less by 9/1/2014

May I be free to be the me that I came into this world to be.
ClassicRocke...

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 818

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Posted: 19 Mar 2013, 10:44
shmiller... one thing I've made a habit of doing is to compliment people I've not seen in a while. Hair, complexion, clothing. I realized others need to hear a word of encouragement and offer it when I can. Saw triplets yesterday (5 years old) and made comments individual to each of them. And that wasn't easy either. But fun. They got a giggle because I kept confusing them.



Goal: 160 by 5/1/2014
155 or less by 9/1/2014

May I be free to be the me that I came into this world to be.
shmiller

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 497

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Posted: 19 Mar 2013, 13:01
I try that, too. But I stay away from weight. I've had it backfire both ways.
"The grass ain't greener, the wine ain't sweeter, either side of the hill" The Grateful Dead
ClassicRocke...

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 818

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Posted: 19 Mar 2013, 14:02
Thanks for the advice. Very Happy



Goal: 160 by 5/1/2014
155 or less by 9/1/2014

May I be free to be the me that I came into this world to be.
GirlMeetBook...

Joined: Jul 11
Posts: 2

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Posted: 19 Mar 2013, 14:15
Interesting. I'm actually on the other side of this. I hate it when people notice that I have, or they think I have, lost weight. I've lost 57 lbs., thank the good Lord! The compliments didn't start coming until about 35-40 lbs. in. I sure wish they'd stop!
I guess I should specify, except from my best friend or very close friends saying a simple but heartfelt - you look great, by the way!
lisakp71

Joined: Jun 10
Posts: 527

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Posted: 19 Mar 2013, 15:13
This happened to me - I had lost about 40lb relatively quickly and then coasted at a steady weight for a while.

About 4-5 weeks into the steady weight I suddenly started hearing "OHMYGOSH what have you done?!". When I told them I hadn't lost any weight since the last three times they saw me, they all looked at me like I was crazy - but it was true!

Sometimes it has to sink in, sometimes it takes a while for your body to rearrange itself (like, maybe your face is the last thing to lose? Maybe you lose weight evenly until you dip below a certain point and then BAM magically your butt is noticeably smaller or something). Your body does lots of weird things. And so do other people's brains, ha!

Shmiller's right, though! I will always tell someone when I think they look great ...but I don't get super specific about weight unless I have personal knowledge that they have been working on it.
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,984

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Posted: 20 Mar 2013, 02:54
I'd like to simply say that I agree with Lisakp71. Sometimes it takes time for people to let it sink it.
Also, I see that I have gotten most compliments on my weight loss when I don't lose anything for a while. Weird. Smile
"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
eKatherine

Joined: Aug 12
Posts: 1,266

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Posted: 20 Mar 2013, 06:30
I went to a meeting of people I hadn't seen in 6 months after having lost 40 pounds. Only one woman noticed, she didn't even recognize me at first. And I looked a lot different, because I had also started exercising a lot.

I think that unfortunately as larger women most people don't look at us. We are invisible. They simply don't remember how we were before because it made no impression on them.
ClassicRocke...

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 818

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Posted: 20 Mar 2013, 08:38
I told hubby about my post and the responses. He noted that maybe no one said anything because I'm now small then most of them with the exception of one and they don't want to admit I'm losing and they're not. Sour Grapes as the calls it.

As to the impression and not remembering... this group does remember as it seemed to come up in conversations quite often about "MY" size compared to them... Oh, what size are you wearing now??? Wow. Need to find new friends.



Goal: 160 by 5/1/2014
155 or less by 9/1/2014

May I be free to be the me that I came into this world to be.



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