Facing Reality

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mummydee

Joined: Feb 10
Posts: 2,262

      quote  
Posted: 26 Jul 2013, 07:51
Ponky82 wrote:

And sometimes, I don't know if I should tell her because I think telling her "you've lost weight" might be the same as saying "you're fat, you've been sooo fat and you looked horrendous, thank God you did something about it".



What would you like people to say to you Ponky? Would you like to hear "you've lost weight" or would that hurt you... then maybe a little gentler "you're looking good these days" and let them initiate a conversation?

I love it when someone notices my weight loss and simply say 'thank you for noticing' and leave it.

Walking by a store window and not hating to see myself is my reward.

FullaBella

Joined: Oct 12
Posts: 1,080

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Posted: 26 Jul 2013, 12:01
I have so many thoughts about this because this is the 4th 100+lb weight loss I've been through. I was always avg 290lbs when I started (just like this time) and it's always 50+lbs lost before anyone 'seemed' to notice but *I* know there are other things involved like dressing with a better sense of pride, a certain outfit more flattering than the other, etc.

Sometimes it was as simple as the right 'undergarments' - even this time around I had at least 5 people ask in a single day if I'd lost weight where nothing caught their attention before.

And yes, when the SCALE seems stalled, as long as I continue to eat healthy and get my water in, my body will continue to change physically, as if it is catching up with the scale. Some skin will tighten back up here & there, not much, but some.

I have been on both houses as far as whether I wanted comments or not; the FIRST time it was great, the second & third time, not so much... simply because I didn't believe in myself. This time has been tough too but as I'm going through this one with more integrity I feel more confidant it will last, stick, stay with me.

Being here on FS although virtually anonymous, I do feel like when I freak out & want to lick the fridge, I have somewhere to come for venting, ranting, sharing, support, encouragement and just good old fashioned 'gut checks' from like minded people. This site has really helped me dump a lot of the old 'weight loss noise' and eat better and healthier (I'm a lifelong eating disorder gal in recovery).

And finally - it's ironic and downright funny, but I get a lot of double takes of people finally noticing me or feeling like they don't recognize me because I just started wearing a hat. Sometimes it's like the 'haircut' comment - they know 'something is different but can't figure it out'.

Now (sorry, I thought I was finished but I had another thought to add) you'd think 'Gee, 100+lbs they don't notice... ?' and I'll say this... *I* really don't pay that much attention to other people's weight in person either.

That may be the reason your co-workers or friends aren't commenting on your loss - it may not be envy or resentment. It may be like me - just a person who accepts you for who you are and what you are not how big or small you are. Try to embrace those people and know that they have obviously liked you through thick and thin.

Okay, I'm really done now. LOL.
Bella


I'm not losing WEIGHT. I'm converting FAT to MUSCLE to be healthier.
mummydee

Joined: Feb 10
Posts: 2,262

      quote  
Posted: 26 Jul 2013, 14:08
I had a friend at work who lost a whack of weight, she wasn't really 'heavy' , i'd say maybe 150 ish but all of a sudden she looked thin, no in between bit!! Everyone was asking each other if she was okay or was she sick, no one wanted to ask her and hear, I've got the dreaded "C",

Maybe she felt the same way as you do, all that work and no reaction, But it turned out that when she hit 50 she said, 'no more' and started walking and going up and down her stairs at home every night for an hour. She lost 30 lbs.

every story is different. Hope your's has a happy ending too!
Rita41

Joined: Apr 13
Posts: 186

      quote  
Posted: 26 Jul 2013, 20:50
me too kkd1125
carlaEds

Joined: Jul 13
Posts: 6

      quote  
Posted: 27 Jul 2013, 01:51
Congratulation! You have already defeated and decimated one enemy. Doing the same to another won’t be so hard. All you have to do is believe.
I was in a similar situation not long ago. Eating was one of the joys of my life and I couldn’t stop eating high carb food stuff. Then all of a sudden I told to myself, enough is enough something had to be done. I then started with General Motors Diet (for one week) which helped me to change my lifestyle from a high-carb diet to low-carb high-protein diet, then pursued the 21 days diet plan (for the next 21 days). In just a month’s time I was able to change my lifestyle, reduce weight, and overcome carb cravings.
CommaHolly

Joined: Jul 13
Posts: 38

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Posted: 27 Jul 2013, 23:33
congrats on quitting smoking,,,,I quit a year ago,,,,,gained 30 lbs, but it was worth it,,,,,

now to take that 30 lbs (and another 40 or so as well) off LOL!

so congrats to you for making great choices!
Jeld

Joined: Jul 11
Posts: 19

      quote  
Posted: 28 Jul 2013, 23:44
Wow. First thanks to everyone who joined in haha!! As for the not mentioning weight loss, that's really easy. What's uncomfortable is not the weight loss. Its the weight gain. As most of us know, and have most likely experienced, you can lose a pile of weight - and put it right back on again.

So for joe skinny out there who either has a magical metabolism or has their head screwed on straight from the get go on calories in and calories out, giving you a compliment on your weight loss is a tricky thing. What is he supposed to say to you if you start putting it back on again? Saying something, saying nothing - doesn't matter. So awkward.
Jeld

Joined: Jul 11
Posts: 19

      quote  
Posted: 28 Jul 2013, 23:50
and yes, I am so very proud of quitting smoking. It really was hard. But now its super easy. As long as I never put a cigarette in my mouth I'm a non smoker, but hey it was like that from day 1.

This can be done. I AM going to be one of the success stories. I AM going to have a muscular body. Its going to take a while, but I've got comfy shoes. Ready for the long walk.

Jeld.
CommaHolly

Joined: Jul 13
Posts: 38

      quote  
Posted: 29 Jul 2013, 00:15
mummydee wrote:
Ponky82 wrote:

And sometimes, I don't know if I should tell her because I think telling her "you've lost weight" might be the same as saying "you're fat, you've been sooo fat and you looked horrendous, thank God you did something about it".



What would you like people to say to you Ponky? Would you like to hear "you've lost weight" or would that hurt you... then maybe a little gentler "you're looking good these days" and let them initiate a conversation?

I love it when someone notices my weight loss and simply say 'thank you for noticing' and leave it.

Walking by a store window and not hating to see myself is my reward.



I say what I've always said, because it's the absolute truth,,,,,

"You look amazing!!!!!!"

tiamountain

Joined: Jul 13
Posts: 4

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Posted: 29 Jul 2013, 01:04
I want to know if it is deliberate but does any body else notice the spring rolls and pasta advertisements on here and get distracted by them, I am trying to put that stuff out of my mind but now i just want some. Its a constant struggle.
eKatherine

Joined: Aug 12
Posts: 1,286

      quote  
Posted: 29 Jul 2013, 01:12
tiamountain wrote:
I want to know if it is deliberate but does any body else notice the spring rolls and pasta advertisements on here and get distracted by them, I am trying to put that stuff out of my mind but now i just want some. Its a constant struggle.


Use Firefox as your browser and install Adblock Plus.
newbeginingf...

Joined: Jun 13
Posts: 27

      quote  
Posted: 29 Jul 2013, 01:27
I eat so i don't have to face myself cause i am to disgusted in me. It is easy to be proactive and i have had plenty of times like that in the past but when you try and try and eventually it leads to failure once more you start to wonder is that the reality and you should just face the fact that you are just how you are and accept it even if others wont. I don't know i guess im back here again so i guess im not completely ready to throw in the towel yet.
shareemore

Joined: Jul 13
Posts: 5

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Posted: 29 Jul 2013, 04:06
I just watched a video on YouTube of a girl 26 who has already had lap-band surgery and it didn't work and she is in pain and miserable and now she is going for bypass surgery, talk about facing reality, i thought i had it bad. Someone should make those doctors accountable for ruining peoples lives. In the video she isn't even that overweight, no more than me. I struggle and dont know what the answer is but im glad im not letting those butchers near me and my reality isn't that screwed up.

Sharee
kkd1125

Joined: Apr 10
Posts: 336

      quote  
Posted: 29 Jul 2013, 18:31
Talk about ironic...a female co-worker of mine (whom I don't see every day, maybe once every few weeks) saw me in the ladies room today and asked, "Have you lost weight?" I replied, (probably too eagerly)"Yes! I have. Thank you for noticing!" She asked what I'm "doing" to lose weight, which makes me laugh. Everyone knows what you *should* do to lose weight yet everyone asks, looking for some new answer, some new fad diet name, secret formula, or who knows what. I said, "just eating right and exercising." She said, "yeah, it's hard work, eh?" I said, "Not really, I'm taking it really slow and steady so it's not really that hard." I think that pissed her off. Ha ha!
eshny

Joined: Aug 10
Posts: 30

      quote  
Posted: 30 Jul 2013, 05:03
I think a simple "You look really great" or "You just look fantastic" will suffice.

Its nice to be complimented, and to feel that you really do look better/thinner.

I had to lose around 20 plus lbs before anyone mentioned it, but it really motivated me to hear the compliments.

Also, when I notice that someone has lost weight I do say "You look so good" or something like that. Not to mention it, is really not very nice. You don't have to go on and on, til they feel like "Ah was I really so fat before?", just s simple acknowledgement.



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