Avoid Negativity

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StephStu

Joined: Nov 09
Posts: 17

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Posted: 19 Dec 2012, 22:28
I get discouraged easily by negative people. I came here wanting help, and every post I've made, someone has come in trashing it and saying I'm wrong.

I had the opposite problem on Spark People. They were too encouraging, never made a reasonable recommendation at all.

I think I'm just going to do this thing by myself. The negativity here is just making me want to go eat more, and I'm not going to let that happen.

Be nice to each other. We all have our own issues, so either give constructive criticism, or just stay off the boards and don't offer your opinion.

Good luck to everyone!
eKatherine

Joined: Aug 12
Posts: 1,286

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Posted: 20 Dec 2012, 01:38
You want to lose 35 pounds in 2 months. 35 pounds X 3500 calories/pound = 122,500 calories you need to reduce your intake by. To do so over 60 days means you will need to divide that number by 60 days. So you need to reduce your daily intake by 2041 calories per day below your maintenance intake.

If you were a guy with a maintence level of 3500 calories a day, there's a chance it might happen. But you're not. As a middle aged woman, your RDI is likely around 1800 calories per day. There is simply no way it can happen. People were so concerned about how unrealistic your goal is that it made them worry about you.
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

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Posted: 20 Dec 2012, 02:53
I generally experience positive attitudes all over the place here. Sure, sometimes we hear negative things. Sometimes we need to. What I see on FatSecret is that we sometimes ask questions that we really don't want have have honest answers for. I also see that there are MANY different weight loss approaches here, and that many people will have many different opinions. I'm not sure what you have specifically experienced, but I just want you to know that I sure don't experience it.

Also, be aware that no matter where we are in life, there will always be jerks. We can't avoid them, no matter what we do. Just filter them out.

Now, I don't know your background, but if what eKatherine says is true, then I am sorry, but you're most likely not gonna reach that goal. If you do, hat's off to you. You will have to be VERY careful to not gain it again.

Why the rush? Why not do it over a longer period on time, do it safely, and healthy, and keep it off? Smile


Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
tammyb440

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 5

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Posted: 04 Jan 2013, 18:31
I'm sorry you are having a bad experience here. I came back to fat secret after being sick for the past year. My experience before was so positive. But, not knowing what was actually said, this is a community of people with your same struggle, to get healthy. I hope you reconsider and choose to come back. We learn how to achieve our goals through experience either good or bad.
Oddity

Joined: Aug 10
Posts: 280

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Posted: 04 Jan 2013, 21:30
Ah, best of worlds, what's become of you now? Surely these troubles are just the shadows in a beautiful picture.


philanddeb

Joined: Oct 12
Posts: 33

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Posted: 05 Jan 2013, 04:35
Steph,

Just keep living well and know you're worth every moment you put into your own recovery. If someone wants to be negative, that pretty much sums up what they want to get out of being here. Go on and be successful and see if you care what they thought when you're achieving greatness!

Smile Deb
"Time and pressure; strength and courage; and most of all things, God"
fatbiblelove...

Joined: Aug 12
Posts: 6

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Posted: 05 Jan 2013, 04:42
Hello Steph, I don't know you but what does it matter if people disagree with you? It doesn't mean you're wrong or they are right, or that they are wrong and you are right! It just means that you all have different opinions.

We live in a diverse world, and we all think differently, you are a person who is valued and loved by God. Any one else's opinion can't hurt you!
philanddeb

Joined: Oct 12
Posts: 33

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Posted: 06 Jan 2013, 02:03
fatbiblelover wrote:
Hello Steph, I don't know you but what does it matter if people disagree with you? It doesn't mean you're wrong or they are right, or that they are wrong and you are right! It just means that you all have different opinions.

We live in a diverse world, and we all think differently, you are a person who is valued and loved by God. Any one else's opinion can't hurt you!


Great message and thoughtful post! Well done!
"Time and pressure; strength and courage; and most of all things, God"
selenap20

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 88

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Posted: 06 Jan 2013, 08:42
Steph I'm assuming the negativity you experienced was from the post you made announcing your goal? I definitely think some of the responses could have been worded better because they could be taken as demeaning but the overall messages were true. Losing that much weight in that period of time is more than likely unhealthy, you can see that by the caloric breakdown by ekatherine. People are telling you that because they don't want you to turn to dangerous practices to achieve it or be discouraged because you don't at all. I hope you lose as much weight is healthily possible, but I also want you to keep it off when your done! Slow and steady always wins that race! Smile opinions here are like trail mix, you pick out what you like and give the rest to your dog! Laughing
Iverni

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 11

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Posted: 20 Jan 2013, 12:19
Hi Steph Stu, I'm sorry you've been disappointed. I hope you're feeling more heartened now. I think feedback can sometimes miss the mark so make it like a buffet: just swallow the bits you want and ignore the rest. Different strokes for different folks, as they say.
eKatherine I'm seriously impressed with your maths. And what a nice woman you are to take the time to work it out. Smile
ZippyDani

Joined: Sep 11
Posts: 29

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Posted: 22 Jan 2013, 20:10
Selenap: "opinions here are like trail mix, you pick out what you like and give the rest to your dog! " I absolutely LOVE that saying!

Steph,
I too have experienced the power of positive thoughts/feedback here at FS. Yes, there can be the negative nellies, but they can and should be taken with a grain of salt, then ignored for better judgments.

Whatever you're working toward, healthful balanced approach is the best method of success. I wish you much success!
Nothing to it but to do it! ~Floyd of The Electric Mayhem
gboxer

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 1

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Posted: 22 Jan 2013, 23:54
Hello Steph!

Don't be discouraged. I think you've got the right attitude in mind and you will get there. When dieting and trying to lose weight, you will be surrounded by people who will try to discourage you derail you from your goals. Keep pictures of positive things that will keep you in your goal, like what women in your goal weight. When your dieting, try to keep away from people who say you will fail. They don't want you to change. You will find that your real friends will respect your wishes and a cheerleader for you. Whatever gets you motivated, I say do it! Shoot for the sky! You will know how to gage yourself. Good luck and I'm rootin for ya!
pam-u-la

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 298

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Posted: 23 Jan 2013, 06:35
Unfortunately some people are negative by nature. I personally have had tremendous support on here not only for weight issues but issues that come from everyday living.
You stated that you want to loss a significant amount of weight, and from reading through the other posts I can sence everyone's concern for you health and well-being.
However here is my thought on it, do not let the number on the scale dictate how you feel. Even if you do not reach said number, I believe people will compliment you with any change that is achieved. Good luck and keep faith!



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