Spouse Not Supportive

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coconutprinc...

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 113

      quote  
Posted: 07 May 2012, 12:06
jessabridge4444 wrote:
The day I accepted it was my choice & my responsibility& my "goal", is the day I made a change.


You are so right. Thank you for your reply, you have truly encouraged me. It is up to me and I just need the strength behind my will power to make the right choices for ME. Smile
coconutprinc...

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 113

      quote  
Posted: 07 May 2012, 12:07
BlueWaterBottle wrote:
Prep stuff to make it easier to follow through on the plan. I find that my spouse is more likely to suggest take out on the nights when I obviously don't feel like cooking. If chicken is already marinating or the vegetables are already cut and ready to be cooked, it's a lot easier to resolve to get in the kitchen and complete the meal you already started.


LOVE this idea! Thank you!
coconutprinc...

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 113

      quote  
Posted: 07 May 2012, 12:10
Olei wrote:
It's perfectly okay to go off your diet for a day, but I would limit to maybe once every two weeks.


That is my problem, going off for one day turns into several days... I know the "once in awhile" treat is okay, I just need the strength to stay on track most of the time and keep the treats to "once in awhile".

Thanks! Smile
coconutprinc...

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 113

      quote  
Posted: 07 May 2012, 12:11
mars2kids wrote:
No one can give you willpower, it has to come on your own and it's hard, but you can do it.


Thank you so much! Smile
Wendydashner

Joined: Aug 10
Posts: 29

      quote  
Posted: 07 May 2012, 12:13
Oh and I started about where you are now. That was in about August. I am down 30 pounds and have a little over 30 to go (my goal is 150 but I want 145 so I can "play" and not stress). I have been stuck for the last few months between 176 and 179 but I am feeling better. I buy myself clothes that fit but only buy used at thrift stores because when I get to my goal, I am going to splurge! As I lose weight and stuff gets too loose, I donate it. So it is costing me a small fortune but it is so worth it. Good luck.

remember you are where I was... I got here, so can you!
coconutprinc...

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 113

      quote  
Posted: 07 May 2012, 12:23
Wendydashner wrote:
remember you are where I was... I got here, so can you!


You must be so happy! Thank you!! Very Happy
Wendydashner

Joined: Aug 10
Posts: 29

      quote  
Posted: 07 May 2012, 17:56
I am halfway happy. I am very happy to be where I am but disappointed to not be where I want. I should visit here more often for more inspiration. lol
Eringiffin

Joined: Mar 12
Posts: 117

      quote  
Posted: 08 May 2012, 15:44
Quote:
I want to print this and tape it up everywhere in my house! Thank you!


Me too!
coconutprinc...

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 113

      quote  
Posted: 09 May 2012, 11:17
Wendydashner wrote:
I am halfway happy. I am very happy to be where I am but disappointed to not be where I want. I should visit here more often for more inspiration. lol


I totally understand!
skwhite

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 102

      quote  
Posted: 09 May 2012, 16:44
You can do it have faith in yourself. Every time you make a good choice be proud of yourself.
coconutprinc...

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 113

      quote  
Posted: 09 May 2012, 18:03
skwhite wrote:
You can do it have faith in yourself. Every time you make a good choice be proud of yourself.


Thank you Smile
88elizabethc...

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 32

      quote  
Posted: 09 May 2012, 21:05
Just have to add my 2 cents as well. Don't be afraid to keep coming here for support. The people on FS are awesomely supportive and tough as nails, especially if they have stuck around for a while. We all have hard times (emotional upsets, non-support from family & friends, diet "failures" from vacations & parties, medical problems, etc.), and even if you don't get a concrete solution to your immediate problems, we all pull for one another here.

I didn't even know I could lose weight durably until I came here--I won't eat manufactured diet foods, do insanity workouts, swear off all junk food or even refrain from eating after 10PM. But I really believe now that there are good diet/lifestyle solutions for everyone, if you are honest about what your goals are, and what you are really willing to do to achieve them. Then you need to be committed to getting up every day (or almost) and sticking to your plan, for as long as it takes, and then maintaining in some reasonable way. I thought I knew a good bit about nutrition before signing on here, but I found there was a whole lot more to learn (just HOW many calories are in my favorite breakfast muffin?!?!), and it is now easier to make wise choices about food, even when I am not recording every blessed thing I eat (though that is still the best way to achieve results, I find).

What everyone said about planning meals is absolutely valid, but think about snacks, too. Fresh fruit and vegetables are more expensive in both time and money, but almost everything else is too loaded with fat and carbs for very little nutrition. Find some things that you really like that are very low in calories (I use radishes, pickles, grape tomatoes), and keep them ready to go whenever you need something. I get "stupid" when I am really hungry, and that is when I am most vulnerable to bad food decisions. A glass of water and a handful of grape tomatoes later, I am much better equipped to make a good choice.

Oh, one last thing: I can really recommend frozen supermarket pizza if you get to really miss it. Choose a thinner-crust-and-more-veggies kind for yourself, and your husband can still have deep-dish meat-lover's or whatever. Maybe you can even steal a slice of his, since the packaging will tell you how many calories it is packing, which is hard to know with takeout pizza.

Sorry, that was too long, but I wish you all the best.
--88elizabethcady88

"We must all hang together, or assuredly, we shall all hang separately."
--Benjamin Franklin
coconutprinc...

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 113

      quote  
Posted: 10 May 2012, 08:36
88elizabethcady88 wrote:
Just have to add my 2 cents as well. Don't be afraid to keep coming here for support. The people on FS are awesomely supportive and tough as nails, especially if they have stuck around for a while. We all have hard times (emotional upsets, non-support from family & friends, diet "failures" from vacations & parties, medical problems, etc.), and even if you don't get a concrete solution to your immediate problems, we all pull for one another here.

I didn't even know I could lose weight durably until I came here--I won't eat manufactured diet foods, do insanity workouts, swear off all junk food or even refrain from eating after 10PM. But I really believe now that there are good diet/lifestyle solutions for everyone, if you are honest about what your goals are, and what you are really willing to do to achieve them. Then you need to be committed to getting up every day (or almost) and sticking to your plan, for as long as it takes, and then maintaining in some reasonable way. I thought I knew a good bit about nutrition before signing on here, but I found there was a whole lot more to learn (just HOW many calories are in my favorite breakfast muffin?!?!), and it is now easier to make wise choices about food, even when I am not recording every blessed thing I eat (though that is still the best way to achieve results, I find).

What everyone said about planning meals is absolutely valid, but think about snacks, too. Fresh fruit and vegetables are more expensive in both time and money, but almost everything else is too loaded with fat and carbs for very little nutrition. Find some things that you really like that are very low in calories (I use radishes, pickles, grape tomatoes), and keep them ready to go whenever you need something. I get "stupid" when I am really hungry, and that is when I am most vulnerable to bad food decisions. A glass of water and a handful of grape tomatoes later, I am much better equipped to make a good choice.

Oh, one last thing: I can really recommend frozen supermarket pizza if you get to really miss it. Choose a thinner-crust-and-more-veggies kind for yourself, and your husband can still have deep-dish meat-lover's or whatever. Maybe you can even steal a slice of his, since the packaging will tell you how many calories it is packing, which is hard to know with takeout pizza.

Sorry, that was too long, but I wish you all the best.


Thank you so much. The encouragement and support to keep going and making right choices, staying consistent and commmitted is what I really need. I use to go to SparkPeople, but I wouldn't really get involved and it just fell to the wayside. WIth this site, I figured it will not work in helping me if I don't log in every day and involve myself with the forums and buddies.

I to get stupid when I'm hungry. Sometimes it's not that I don't know what I should do, I just need that extra push to make myself DO IT. I know it's a matter of choices, I just really need that willpower. I don't want to look back to today a year from now and wish I had started.

Thank you for your encouragement and support! Smile
Fizzlescraps

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 2

      quote  
Posted: 10 May 2012, 08:48
I've done some advance planning for the nights we end up with take-out (for whatever reason). I have a list of several restaurants/fast food places and know exactly which one or two items I would order there that will fit into my plan. So, I just lobby for one of those places, and we are all happy and I'm staying on plan!

Agree completely with 88elizabethcady88 who said: "I get "stupid" when I am really hungry, and that is when I am most vulnerable to bad food decisions. A glass of water and a handful of grape tomatoes later, I am much better equipped to make a good choice."

And she's also completely on target that you have to have those grape tomatoes (or whatever) on hand and ready to go when you need them. Planning is (almost) everything!
coconutprinc...

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 113

      quote  
Posted: 10 May 2012, 08:57
Fizzlescraps wrote:
I've done some advance planning for the nights we end up with take-out (for whatever reason). I have a list of several restaurants/fast food places and know exactly which one or two items I would order there that will fit into my plan. So, I just lobby for one of those places, and we are all happy and I'm staying on plan!

Agree completely with 88elizabethcady88 who said: "I get "stupid" when I am really hungry, and that is when I am most vulnerable to bad food decisions. A glass of water and a handful of grape tomatoes later, I am much better equipped to make a good choice."

And she's also completely on target that you have to have those grape tomatoes (or whatever) on hand and ready to go when you need them. Planning is (almost) everything!


Thanks so much. I really do have to plan for those emergency hunger times when I don't have time to make something and I need to grab and go. I like your idea of the planned restaurant foods that you can eat Smile
Katred12

Joined: May 12
Posts: 113

      quote  
Posted: 10 May 2012, 09:54
Hi coconutprincess, I'm getting older, I'm 54, and I used to be a long distance cyclist. I've gained all this weight in the last 30 years, kids and the last 10years, a desk job has just put the top on it. My husband, 7 years older than me, who used to cycle with me, can still eat 12 tacos and 4 cheese burgers and not gain anything. He still has the metabolism of a twenty something. I eat a fraction of that but I had to change what I eat, because I might as well just duct tape it to stomach as eat it. It's hard but I had to come to grips that I can't get away with eating his way anymore. These guys who have answered you are awesome, they are right, it has to come from you. My husband is still asking if he could make mac and cheese for dinner or some other equally devastating thing, well I have a salad with chicken out of the freezer if he cooks it. Planning does help, I carry Atkins bars in my purse, you might get something similar that goes with your diet. He is more supportive now, he is asking things like - how was your workout?
I hope your husband comes around, good luck to you and hang in there.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. - Mark Twain

Katred12
Lynncollins

Joined: May 12
Posts: 8

      quote  
Posted: 10 May 2012, 11:55
I think all men have problems with not supporting the women in there live's. It is very hard not having that support.. Men look at it as they can eat what they want too and not gain much weight so why should they support us.. I think this attutide is why we say forget it...
Lynn Collins
coconutprinc...

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 113

      quote  
Posted: 10 May 2012, 13:20
Katred12 wrote:
Hi coconutprincess, I'm getting older, I'm 54, and I used to be a long distance cyclist. I've gained all this weight in the last 30 years, kids and the last 10years, a desk job has just put the top on it. My husband, 7 years older than me, who used to cycle with me, can still eat 12 tacos and 4 cheese burgers and not gain anything. He still has the metabolism of a twenty something. I eat a fraction of that but I had to change what I eat, because I might as well just duct tape it to stomach as eat it. It's hard but I had to come to grips that I can't get away with eating his way anymore. These guys who have answered you are awesome, they are right, it has to come from you. My husband is still asking if he could make mac and cheese for dinner or some other equally devastating thing, well I have a salad with chicken out of the freezer if he cooks it. Planning does help, I carry Atkins bars in my purse, you might get something similar that goes with your diet. He is more supportive now, he is asking things like - how was your workout?
I hope your husband comes around, good luck to you and hang in there.


Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. This was very encouraging Smile
coconutprinc...

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 113

      quote  
Posted: 10 May 2012, 13:22
Lynncollins wrote:
I think all men have problems with not supporting the women in there live's. It is very hard not having that support.. Men look at it as they can eat what they want too and not gain much weight so why should they support us.. I think this attutide is why we say forget it...


The thing with my hubby is he does gain weight, but he doesn't care if he has a gut or not lol I on the other hand DO care if I have a gut. I guess he figures he isn't really changing things so why should I? He is probably upset that he is losing his junk food buddy to Smile
debbily

Joined: Mar 12
Posts: 119

      quote  
Posted: 10 May 2012, 13:45
coconutprincess wrote:
[quote=holfraz]I am the one who is responsible for what I choose to eat. No one can keep me at my desired weight except fo rmyself. Life is full of temptations. We have to decide what is the most important to us: giving in to temptations and feeling bad about it, or reaching our desired weight and feeling on top of the world!


I too want to print this out so that I can see it everywhere in my house on a daily basis!!Life is full of temptations, even at home. We have to be super strong to be able to overcome what is thrown in our faces! I love will power!!
If you have the right mindset then nothing can stop you from reaching your goals! Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!



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