Sex and Weight - Will I Feel Sexier When I Lose the Weight?

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Joined: Apr 12
Posts: 13

Posted: 09 May 2012, 19:38
I've been undressing in the bathroom for far too long and I am embarrassed. If I came out in sexy lingerie I would not feel real. When I was thinner and younger, I didn't give it a second thought. Now I would just like to feel comfortable with being naked. My husband has a belly and doesn't seem self conscious at all. Why can't I just accept how I look now and not be so critical? It's certainly put a damper on my sex drive when instead of going for it I just want to hide. Any one else have similar experiences?

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 32

Posted: 09 May 2012, 20:33
I think I know where you're coming from. By the time I got to 195 lbs., I could hardly stand the sight of myself in the bathroom mirror, clothes on or off. Miraculously, my husband was still attracted to me, but I was so repulsed by myself that, if anything, I began to question his integrity or his eyesight. Some 60 lbs. lighter, I am much more comfortable with how I look and feel, and clothes shopping is an enjoyable experience for me--definitely a welcome change! Best of luck; slow and steady wins.

"We must all hang together, or assuredly, we shall all hang separately."
--Benjamin Franklin

Joined: May 10
Posts: 123

Posted: 09 May 2012, 20:39
It's tough. You are sexy. Right now. You don't need to lose weight. You do not need to fit into a certain size or have your hair long enough or paint your nails red in order to be sexy. The sexiest thing, is confidence.

It's tough. We watch movies and read magazines that push women to be dangerously thin. Even they recognize it from time to time. Angelina at the Oscars? Everyone knows that she's too skinny. But that's the culture there. That's what we see. That's what we're encouraged to be.

But look around you - there are beautiful women and men everywhere that are not Hollywood's ideal size. They're my ideal size, and yours and everyone else's.

It takes practice. And it takes time. You can do this. Find one thing about yourself every day, and remind yourself. Smile

Does anybody really think that they didn't get what they had because they didn't have the talent or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?
- Nelson Mandela

Joined: Mar 12
Posts: 178

Posted: 10 May 2012, 06:20
exercise makes me feel sexy, and makes me feel great about myself.

Joined: Jan 10
Posts: 26

Posted: 10 May 2012, 15:57
I 2nd that Holfraz, i feel my best after a good workout!! It gives me a burst of energy and confidence.

Joined: Dec 09
Posts: 324

Posted: 11 May 2012, 11:38
It is all about your mindset. I am thin and have a pretty great body, and yet my sex life has gone down the drain because I feel fake when I dress up for my boyfriend. Its like he sees me when I am sick, when I am not cute at all, and now I feel like its halloween when I put on lingerie. I really have been working to try and remember that he finds me sexy and in all honesty men only care if you have a vagina. They are more excited they are having sex. I think the best advice is to work on being comfortable with being uncomfortable. I tell myself that if I can just relax and enjoy the moment, we will both enjoy it more.


Joined: Apr 12
Posts: 13

Posted: 13 May 2012, 18:27
I offered to put on sexy lingerie last night and he said the kids would be in soon. They brought me my Mother's Day present since they were so excited and couldn't wait to give me the newest iPad 32 GB with wi-fi. Would have been embarrassed if they saw me in what I was going to put on. Some what relieved, some what disappointed, about the lingerie, not the present. Ah, domesticity versus the erotic.

Joined: Apr 12
Posts: 19

Posted: 13 May 2012, 21:43
Why don't you try putting on your sexy lingerie underneath your outfit? I've done it, and it made me feel like I had a naughty little secret all day. Don't tell him you are wearing it, but a well timed "wardrobe malfunction" will give him a clue.. a popped button on your blouse, a peak of lace when you bend over to pick up something... then let his mind wander a bit... and if you do it right, he'll want to unwrap you like a present.. talk about a confidence booster..
I WILL wear an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini....

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